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North Korea
Superlative news out of Pyongyang
Earlier today, space program director
Pae Yong-Nam announced plans
to bring the moon to
North Korea by 2
Since time immemorial man has longed
to walk on the moon in Korea.
At last, we will realize that dream.
The Dear Leader Kim Jon II
devised this great plan
when the ghost of
Eternal President Kim II Sung
invited him tot he moon
for a three-day vacation.
He said, "Why not share the moon-joys with all our
countrymen, as would a father with his children?"
The moon has much to teach us.
Listen closely as she whispers to you.
The space agency will launch five rockets
which will return to North Korea
with the moon in tow.
Experts say it will be
the most auspicious even in the
history of humankind.
A force of one million men
will anchor it to
a resplendent pedestal modeled
on the Dear Leader's perfect hand.
The People's Great and Harmonious
Moon Hand of Kim Jong II
will be the largest moon-held
pedestal ever constructed.
Once the moon is secured,
the space agency will remove the
American flag currently defiling the moon.
It will be replaced by a North Korean
flag, a banner of Kim Jong II,
and an orchestra playing themes from
Oscar-winning movies 24 hours a day.
We will study the moon
once it is here.
to learn the effects of moon
possession on national glory.
Public response to the plan
has been uniform.
The plan is perfect.
We have already succeeded.
It will be the greatest victory for
North Korea since 1944,
when Great Leader and
Eternal President Kim II Sung
swam to the bottom of the ocean
on the back of a blue whale
and killed the Giant Crab Spirit to
save Korea from her typhoons,
then resurfaced to defeat the
Japanese army with his fists.
Moving on,
the American president revealed
himself to be a serpent today.
Still Ahead This Hour:
Obama's job growth plan
to include creation of 2.5
million new cabinet posts
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