Onion News Network

The Onion

A new report from the Department of Labor finds an increasing number of American workers are outsourcing their jobs. For more on this crucial issue, let's go to Joshua Russel in the Money Room. Thanks Brandon. For years, corporations have been outsourcing their labor to developing nations as a way to cut costs. But recently, many individual employees have been sending their own work overseas. I take the money that I would have spent on coffee and pay someone in India to do my job for me. It's allowed me to unleash my full potential. Philadelphia accountant, Donald Felton, outsources the majority of his daily workload to Jahanara Kashem, an accountant based in Bangalore, India. I give my assignments from my supervision and I send it off to Jahanara. Sometimes, I'll look at it when it's done, but usually, everything is right. Mr. Kashem says he's extremely happy with the .68 cents an hour Donald pays him. I am able to feed my family and Mr. Felton can devote more time to his fantasy football team. And Donald is just of the close to 7 who have come to rely on overseas labor. I've gotten two raises since Jahanara started. He's really good at doing my work. But it's not just lower level employees who have embraced the trend. In Donald's firm, many senior level managers are now outsourcing their jobs as well. Workers representing the companies executive officers meet via conference call every Friday. (arguing in background, between Americans and their outsourced workers in India) Some overseas workers have done so well, they've been able to outsource their own outsourced work to those even poorer them themselves. I pay a starving man in Jakarta one handful of rice per day to fill out the expense reports that are send to me from the U.S. Analyst predict that if the trend continues, by 2 Ahmed Khalili of Afghanistan, will be doing 83% of the globes work. It's a scenario that would suit Donald Felton just fine. I'm trying to get to a point where I can just lay in one place and not have to do anything ever. With the Onion News Network, I'm Joshua Russell. Thanks Joshua. Personal outsourcing is expected to grow as much as 2 according to the Filipino team that completed the Department of Labor's report. Coming up next: A new study find the meth epidemic is hitting worthless Americans hardest.