LARRY KING SIMULATOR
Script: Haggerty Idea: Scott Sherman
This Draft: 12-14-07 (CLK)
WRITING NOTE: write lots of alternates for this one.
NOTE: We will need Larry King graphics on set. We will never
use them as clean GRFX, we're going to shoot them off a
monitor in the studio.
INT. TODAY NOW! STUDIO
JIM
Astronaut Travis O'Brien recently
returned from an eighteen month
mission in space. But his biggest
challenge is still ahead of him on
Friday when he will attempt his
first ever Larry King interview.
Photo: Astronaut (someone we can say is Travis O'Brien).
TRACY
Larry King is one of the most
mentally and physically demanding
challenges astronauts ever have to
face. Fortunately they get plenty
of preparation first.
FOOTAGE: Astronaut being interviewed on Larry King Live ...
JIM
Last week I went down to Space
Center Houston to see for myself
what kind of training astronauts
get before subjecting themselves to
rigors of Larry King Live.
TRACY
I think you must have been crazy to
try this, Jim, but let's take a
look.
NOTE: Throughout the segment the hosts are watching footage
of Jim's trip and talking about it.
INT. TRAINING CENTER LOCKER ROOM
JIM stands in a locker room talking with THEODORE WATTS, a
NASA trainer.
WATTS
The Larry King interview is
notorious for its unpredictably and
duration.
TRAINING CENTER HALLWAY B-ROLL: JIM gets into a streamlined
athletics suit with a NASA logo on it. He and Watts walk
down a hall toward the simulation room.
JIM (O.S.)
(to Tracy)
That's Ted Watts. He's been leading
NASA's Larry King training program
for ten years.
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Watts and JIM are now in front of a window looking into the
simulation room. It is a white room with a single chair. A
virtual reality helmet, gloves, and chest plate with wires
emanating from it are on the table.
JIM
What makes the Larry King interview
so hard?
WATTS
The total void of knowledge King
has about his own guests means
astronauts have to endure wave
after wave of disconnected, often
indecipherable questions. The
experience can be incredibly
disorienting. This training helps
build up an astronaut's tolerance
to the total lack of logic they
will experience on Larry King live.
B-ROLL: Watts shows JIM a large computer monitor with labels
relating to Larry King: "Question Randomness," "Awkward Dead
Silence," "Clothing Garishness," "Stare Intensity",
"Gesticulation Meter", and "Stench." Close up on those
dials/labels.
WATTS (CONT'D)
We're starting you on Level One of
the KingSim, so he will be making a
lot more sense than he would in
reality. But it's still not going
to be anything like talking to a
normal human being.
INT. SIMULATION ROOM
WATTS and JIM enter the simulation room.
WATTS
If it gets too much for you just
say "Commercial Break" into your
headset and the simulation will
end.
B-ROLL: WATTS helping JIM put on the gloves, then fastening
various wires to him. JIM sits down and Watts helps him put
on and secure the helmet. Watts leaves the room.
INT. TODAY NOW STUDIO
TRACY
How nervous were you here?
JIM
I was so scared I almost threw up.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - DURING SIMULATION
In the control room, WATTS hits a few keys on his computer
and the simulation begins.
WATTS
(to camera)
Here we go ...
In the simulation room: We see JIM suddenly jerk to life,
indicating the simulation has begun. His hands mime reaching
in front of him for a glass of water.
JIM (V.O.)
Watts warned me that the initial
intro would be especially tough.
Hearing King bark out the show's
lineup in staccato sentences causes
a severe spike in blood pressure.
I'm told astronauts often become
light-headed or dizzy.
On control room monitor: A blocky, computer animated Larry
King leans forward on a desk and begins talking. The look of
the computer animation should mirror the blocky, simple look
of NASA flight simulator animation. SOUND: Larry King saying
"hello" and "thanks for being with us." We pan up from this
to the simulator room window, see Jim cringing as if being
screamed at. He looks a bit dizzy.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - PRE-SIMULATION
WATTS
It's the sheer randomness of the
line of questioning that makes the
interview so incredibly taxing. In
the module, astronauts practice
responding to queries about
everything from the history of NASA
to their opinion about peach
cobbler.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - DURING SIMULATION
B-ROLL: on control room monitor, SimKing asks questions like
"Have you ever had a bad chicken salad?" and "So, did you end
up sleeping together?
B-ROLL: A shot of Jim in his helmet in the simulator. He
seems slightly shaken.
WATTS
(shaking his head)
He's starting to panic.
INT. SIMULATION ROOM
Jim in the simulation helmet:
JIM
Katherine Hepburn? What? But
Katherine Hepburn is dead.
INT. TODAY NOW STUDIO
JIM
It got a bit easier once I realized
when he said "we" he just meant
himself.
TRACY
These astronauts are so incredibly
brave.
JIM
Yes they are.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - PRE-SIMULATION
Watts being interviewed:
WATTS
Larry King is completely
disconnected from the world you and
I know. Any reference to modern
culture, he won't understand.
King's outdated references and
obscure colloquialisms can cause an
astronaut to lose all sense of time
and place.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - DURING SIMULATION
B-ROLL: In the Simulation Room: JIM is trying to mumble
responses to Larry's questions. He now seems shaken.
B-ROLL: In the Control Room: Watts shakes his head, frowning
at the dials and meters. Watts studies his computer. He
speaks to the cameraman.
WATTS
King's gone into a story about his
childhood in Brooklyn. Unless Jim
can hold out until the commercial
break, we're going to have to
abort.
INT. SIMULATION ROOM - SAME TIME
In the simulation room, Jim is shaking his head.
JIM
Oh really? Just five cents, huh?
That's interesting...
INT. CONTROL ROOM - DURING SIMULATION
WATTS
Oh no, this is not good. Jim just
mentioned Marlon Brando. Larry King
is spinning into an out of control
name-dropping vortex! Jim's lost
control of the conversation
entirely.
INT. SIMULATION ROOM - SAME TIME
In the simulation room, Jim is shaking his head.
JIM
Robert DeNiro, oh yes, of course.
Edward Norton, uh huh, uh huh.
Vivien Leigh? Really? You don't say
- Karl Malden!
INT. TODAY NOW STUDIO
GRAPHICS: The Larry King Simulator's head is leaning in very
closely, balanced on its chin. Sound: Larry King muttering
"mmhmm" or something like that.
B-ROLL: In the Simulation Room: JIM looks like he's going to
jump out of his chair. He's clutching the armrests and
turning his head from side to side as if to avoid looking
straight ahead at King.
B-ROLL: Control Room: Watts shakes his head. He looks
nervous.
TRACY
I don't know how you held on this
long.
JIM
And this was just the simulator.
Typically, an astronaut trains for
six weeks before a King interview--
but most say that until you
actually feel the intense heat of
his breath on your face, you really
can't truly know what it's like.
B-ROLL: Larry King graphic on control room monitor. We hear
him say "Well we've got to take a short break.
B-ROLL: In the simulation room, JIM's tense body suddenly
goes slack. He yanks the helmet off his head. He is
sweating profusely and struggling for air.
B-ROLL: In the simulation room, Watts jogs over and opens the
door to the simulation room. He helps the JIM unstrap
himself from the seat. JIM is shaken, can barely walk, but
smiling. He gives a thumbs-up to the camera.
TRACY
I've always had a lot of respect
for America's astronauts, but
seeing you go through that, I am
simply awestruck.
STUDIO
JIM
Tracy, it was the hardest thing
I've ever done.
TRACY
Wow. Well, we're all just glad
you're safe. When we come back John
Stamos will be joining us to talk
about ER, which is celebrating he
airing of its 200th "Homeless Man
Holds The Emergency Room Hostage"
Episode this week.
END.
ALTERNATES
(Preferred alternates in bold.)
Watts presses a button.
WATTS
Let's see how he does with some
call in questions.
AUDIO: A crazy-sounding caller starts blabbering.
STUDIO
JIM
There's almost no filter on who
they let call in to Larry King.
TRACY
And you have to take whatever they
ask you seriously?
JIM
Yes. It can be incredibly
uncomfortable at times.
---
WATTS
King just called Jim the wrong
name. He clearly doesn't know who
he is. Stay professional, Jim....
Stay professional...
----
---------
WATTS (CONT'D)
There are five levels to the Larry
King simulator, affecting how
uninformed his questions will be,
how much time you'll have to fill
between his muttered responses, and
so forth.
-----
JIM
Luckily, the interview is limited
by the length of the show. There's
no way even the strongest astronaut
could handle his disjointed
questions and unsettling physical
presence more than an hour. It
would leave them emotionally
damaged for life.
=======
ALTERNATE:
JIM (CONT'D)
Jerry? No, no, my name is Jim.
--------------
ALTERNATE:
JIM (CONT'D)
It got a bit easier once I realize
when he said "we" he just meant
himself.
-----------
ALTERNATE:
STUDIO:
TRACY
I don't know how you held on this
long.
JIM
Either do I. He kept pointing his
finger right in my face as if to
punctuate a point, but his
sentences had no meaning.
He was saying something about how
we need more movies like the old
westerns.
GRAPHICS / SOUND: Shot of the King Sim pointing. The King Sim
says "doncha think?" and "wouldn't you say?"
JIM (CONT'D)
I didn't want to agree with him,
but the pressure was just too
intense.
ALTERNATE:
TRACY
Larry King is one of the most
mentally and physically demanding
challenges astronauts ever have to
face. They undergo six weeks of
preparation for this arduous feat.
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