via @TheOnion - New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free
Gay marriage is still
illegal in most states
but could some homosexuals have found
a way around the law?
With us now is Missouri
congressman Gerald Iscoe,
co-author of HR-328, a bill that would
close the so-called gay marriage loophole.
- It's good to be here Theresa,
thanks for having me.
Hi congressman, you say that a
quick, simple, gender re-assignment surgery
is all it takes for gays
to be married under current law.
That's right Theresa.
Right now anywhere across this country
a homosexual can just waltz in to a hospital,
have their genitals removed or augmented,
and waltz out after just
a few months of physical therapy,
and then get married
just like a heterosexual.
Now, yesterday in Alabama Governor Robert
Riley said that he would sign legislation
requiring full-body physicals for all
couples before they are married
to verify that - quote -
"Their parts are the real deal."
I heard him say that, yes.
And you know, the bible says very clearly
that marriage is the union
between a man and a woman,
not a man and a man-woman,
or a woman with a penis
sewn in-between her legs.
- That's right, but since the number
of people getting this surgery
is still fairly small
That's only because the word
hasn't spread yet, Theresa.
Right now we're on the lookout to make sure
lesbians and these gays don't get together
and enact some sort of penis-vagina exchange
program, there's no limit to what they'll do.
So how would your bill
actually put a stop to this?
Well, first, we have to make
the existing law clear.
OK.
- When the constitution was written they
didn't know that there would be
a machine some day
that can just twist off your Johnson
and make you a female just like that.
And secondly, we'd suspend
the medical licenses of surgeons
that recruit gay clients, whether through
ads in gay periodicals, or on gay busses.
So, we need to draw a clear legal line here.
- Absolutely we do, we need to put a mark
on the men-women so that
we can identify them.
Your bill does propose getting
this image tattooed on the arms
of anyone who receives the surgery.
- That's right, homosexuals will do anything
to get this wedding certificate,
and we've got to stop them.
Or before we know it there will be stores
where penises and breasts
are sold like pencils. People trading
vaginas in the classified ads,
Rooms full of garish, half-human ghouls
wearing skin-like masks.
We're gonna have to leave it there, thank
you&for being here with us congressman Iscoe.
Thanks for having me on today.
- Watch Raw Justice tonight for
a related story on how gay men
are killing straight women,
assuming their identities and
stealing their husbands.
Coming up - an ordinary fat man eats an
extraordinary number of hotdogs. Stay tuned.
Playlists
Label
