via @TheOnion - Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie
MISSING HIKERS (STUDIO)
Script: Carol Kolb. Idea: Group
This Draft: 11-12 (CLK)
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
Welcome back. We continue now with
our coverage of the gripping saga
of the four hikers lost in
California's Sierra Nevada Mountain
range.
PHOTOS: Three men and one woman. All are in their late 20's.
They look happy and athletic. Photos are labeled Evan
Richie, Diane Walters, Thomas Wilson, and Leeland Hillerton.
NOTE: We will need multiple photos of these people to show
throughout the video.
FOOTAGE: A rescue operation on a mountain plays throughout.
CHYRON: REPORTER / Live / Sequoia National Park
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
We're joined once again by
REPORTER, live from the base of
rescue operations in Sequoia
National Park.
INT. STUDIO GREEN SCREEN / PLATE: BASE OF MOUNTAIN - DUSK
The REPORTER, dressed in a parka and other cold-weather
reporter gear. He is outdoors, so he must speak a little
loudly to be heard.
ANCHOR
REPORTER, throughout our coverage,
we've heard many rescue workers say
how dangerous these mountains are.
What are the chances these hikers
will make it out alive to see a
thrilling made-for-TV movie based
on their ordeal?
REPORTER
It seems very likely at this point,
ANCHOR. The conditions are ideal
for such a movie. The hikers are
young, attractive.
The storm that blew in so suddenly
yesterday is expected to worsen
tonight. These snow-capped
mountains make a breathtaking
backdrop for anything from a nature
survival drama to a full-blown
action-adventure movie.
ANCHOR
That storm -- was that the kind of
dramatic blizzard that could have
turned what they thought was a
carefree hiking trip into a
riveting fight for survival against
impossible odds?
REPORTER
It all depends, ANCHOR. We have no
idea if these unfortunate hikers
who no one has seen for going on 30
hours now, have the chemistry
necessary to sustain a full-length
film.
FOOTAGE: [NEW ADDITION] Two people sitting in folding chairs
or something, holding each other, crying, and hugging. This
could be sisters, parents, whatever.
ANCHOR
We're seeing Evan's family. They've
been in the rescue center since
last night.
REPORTER
(interrupting)
I spoke to them earlier and they
said that Evan is not only rugged,
he has a heart of gold.
ANCHOR
Could he become the leader of this
ragtag group?
PHOTO: Evan.
REPORTER
Absolutely. As you can see Evan is
very handsome.
ANCHOR
He is handsome -- and fit.
REPORTER
We're praying that he's risen to a
position of leadership in the group
and is encouraging the others to
hold on to the thread of life in
the face of unbelievable odds.
PHOTO: Another photo of Evan.
ANCHOR
I could see him being played by
Christian Bale.
REPORTER
Yes, or perhaps Paul Walker.
As he shuffles papers:
ANCHOR
I'm sure those friends and families
hoping for that kind of big-budget
star power.
Back to full anchor volume:
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
Now Reporter, we know that Leeland
is quite wealthy, and therefore
probably not used to taking orders.
PHOTO: Leeland.
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
Do you think Evan's leadership is
spurring jealousy in him? And will
that rivalry ultimately culminate
in a fight over a dangerous
precipice at the heart-stopping
climax of the film?
GRAPHIC: A 3D relief map shows the "Kings Canyon" area.
Dangerous precipices are highlighted.
REPORTER
Park rangers report that there are
many jutting ledges in the Kings
Canyon area.
ANCHOR
So Leeland could tumble over any
one of these and Evan could catch
him with one hand?
REPORTER
Yes, ANCHOR, but it is not known at
this time whether Evan will decide
to pull Leeland to safety, or let
him fall to his death down a 500
foot crevasse in order to save the
others. It's a choice only Evan can
make.
FOOTAGE: People praying. Or more people crying. Some image to
drive home that people are worried about these people.
ANCHOR
REPORTER, are there wild animals
out there the hikers may have to
face down? A grizzly bear, for
instance? That would make an
exciting scene.
PHOTO: Diane.
REPORTER
Grizzly bears are not native to
this area, ANCHOR, but I agree that
would be great. Or perhaps the
third hiker, Diane, will seek
refuge in one of the area's many
caves, trapped between a den of
adorable mountain lion cubs and
their bloodthirsty mother.
ANCHOR
Evan would come to her rescue in
that event, would he not?
REPORTER
If he was worthy of his leading-man
status, he certainly would.
ANCHOR
Is there any chance the hikers will
be forced to eat each other to
survive?
REPORTER
Everyone here at base camp
certainly hopes not. No one wants
to see another cannibal movie.
ANCHOR puts hand to ear.
ANCHOR
Excuse me. REPORTER, we're getting
some exciting new information about
the hikers. The Onion News Network
has learned that both Evan and
Diane are single. REPORTER, they're
stranded out in the wilderness
together. This means we could be
seeing a romantic subplot in act
two? Is that fair to say?
PHOTO: Diane.
PHOTO: Evan.
REPORTER
Again, it's too early to tell.
There's too much we don't yet know
about this tragedy. Will it be on
Lifetime or ABC? Until we have that
information, they could be doing
anything up there in those
mountains, from kissing
passionately under a waterfall to
solving a mystery.
ANCHOR
Now, we've heard very little so far
about the fourth member of the
party, Thomas Wilson. How does he
factor into this?
PHOTO: Thomas Wilson.
REPORTER
We're assuming he's dead, ANCHOR.
Park rangers say that landslides
are quite common this time of year
and Thomas was a tangential part of
the hiking party, a wisecracking
coworker of Leeland who tagged
along at the last minute. If he
died within the first few hours of
being lost, that would really drive
home the point that this hiking
trip had spun horribly out of
control.
ANCHOR
Do we have any idea how he might
have died?
REPORTER
In a best case scenario, the ground
beneath him would have given way
and he would have slid hundreds of
feet into a deep gorge, his voice
echoing "no" all the way down.
ANCHOR
REPORTER, thank you. We'll be
checking back in with you
throughout the day.
PHOTO: Hunky John Agarian, 40's, in his rescue gear.
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
When we come back, we'll be
speaking with the wife of rugged
rescue team leader John Agarian
about the possibility that his
inability to save a of a stranded
hiker some time in the past haunts
him in flashbacks to this day. Stay
with us.
END.
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