I'm Juliana McKannis sitting
in for Clifford Banes,
who is having a blimp
named after him.
A series of photos released
by ABC News this week
showing the First Family
happily flying kites
has infuriated millions with
its unrestrained display
of genuine affection.
Are the Obamas woefully
out of touch with
the average, unhappy American family?
- Yes! - Yes they are.
I mean, the President
really looks bad here.
He's frolicking with Michelle
while most of the country
is trying to make
through one more day
with their intolerable spouses.
- And those children.
They're healthy, they're
cute, they're smart.
Even that dog looks too good!
- And it is true...
...that most Americans feel
that being out of shape
and being unhappy are
core American values.
Stop flaunting how damn
content you are, Obamas!
We don't want to watch it!
- But, you know...
...I want a President that's
smarter than I am.
That hates himself
less than I do.
It provides a very important
distraction, I think,
from my own horrible empty life.
You know, this makes me miss
the days of George Bush.
He would stand two feet away
from his mannish, dead-eyed wife,
and all the while, this daughters
were out getting busted
for underage drinking.
Now those girls were
steady as my kids.
Obama needs to make a
big, high profile move.
He needs to come home
drunk, forget his keys.
And then, when Michelle refuses
to let him into the house,
he just takes a stick and
beats that dog to death
right in the yard.
- And it should be televised,
so we can all see it.
And we get a chance
to call the cops on him!
That would win
him some votes!
Yeah, but to be fair
also, here,
Obama's people have
starting doing some damage control.
Just yesterday Obama publically
called Michelle a stupid bitch
for contradicting him infront
of the French president.
Which is a good move.
- That's a step in the that directions.
Yeah, and this week, White House
officials announced
they're going to unveil this
woman, as Obama's new wife.
Meryl McNee, a dental hygienist
from Twin Falls, Idaho.
That's a First Lady I
could really relate to.
Oh, absolutely.
And the new Sasha and Malia,
Hannah and Crystal
will be diagnosed with ADHD and
childhood diabetes, respectively.
You won't be seeing those
girls learning Japanese.
Now, some Republicans have
suggested that Joe Biden and his wife
are also out of touch
with average Americans.
Ever since Jill Biden said
to Time Magazine that
Joe was
"extremely romantic,
and that their love live is better than
ever now that he's Vice President."
Oh, come on!
- That's just disgusting!
That is just really
uncalled for.
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