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The Onion

I'm Gregory Dawson sitting in for Clifford Baines, who's being fitted for a sarcophagus. Recession which has left thousands of American home-owners, destitute for the first time, may be giving rise to a new form of bigotry. Are traditionally poor Americans being unfairly prejudiced against the Nouveau poor? Yes, and it's wrong. Men and women who have just become impoverished are encountering terrible animosity from the poor who have been sleeping in vacant lots their entire lives. They can't help the fact that they weren't born poor. Yes, poverty should not be a club with locked doors. But it's hard not to sympathize with old poor. Now if your family has a tradition of going to a particular KFC dumpster, for a night out on the town, and you get there and there's a bunch of Nouveau low-lives throwing their chicken bones on the ground, how do you react? - Any vagrant with just a modicum of self respect, knows that's just going to bring rats to the dumpster. Oh I'm sorry that just wreaks of classicism. - I'm sorry, but, What makes America so special is that no matter how many advantages you were born with, you too might wind up sleeping underneath a highway overpass eating nothing but mustard and relish packets. Being poor is more than just not having money. It's about having the right kind of attitude. It's a lifestyle. - Frankly, some people just don't have it. It is true that over the years a small number of prominent families have worked very, very hard to control who is allowed into the poor man's club. Yes, the Jenkins of lower Delaware who have been in the pan-handling business for more than 3 They've had a member of their family imprisoned every year since David Jenkins first came over with the Duchess in 1631. - Yeah, it's a legacy. It's a legacy. But the Nouveau poor have no interest in learning the way that things are done. Now that is just a stereotype. - They just want to sit on the bus stop bench and cry and shiver, rather than just fading into the landscape, like the more experienced poor know to do. That doesn't justify discrimination. My brother lost his house last year, and since then he and his whole family have endured horrible prejudice from other members of the lower crust. Oh please, do we have to hear this again. - My brother told me that all the other poor kids laugh at him, because he got his clothes at the Dollar General, instead of picked out of the garbage can. Shameful. - Like the other kids. I'm sorry. - They won't let him play Poke the Rat with them. - Buying clothes? Yes, exactly. - It sounds like your brother isn't even really poor. Oh what, just because my brother lives in a mini-van and doesn't sleep in the bushes, now that is snobbery. Sounds like mansion trash. - Excuse me? Are you aware, - He's making a point, I think what's important, - Sorry Dave. - Sorry. You know I'm down here, please keep it down. Sorry. - Apologies. - What's going on Daddy? Nevermind Sam, these people are just making a lot of noise. Let's go back to sleep. - Sorry. Let's get these cans out of here. My point is that you can't separate the two classes.