via @TheOnion - Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable
I'm Julianna McKannis
filling in for Clifford Banes
who wants you to know
that he's super sorry
but he just couldn't
make it in today
due to a bunch of stuff that
he'll tell you about later.
A new study has found
children who watch pornography
are more likely to believe
sex is exciting and enjoyable.
Is pornography warping
our youth's view of sex?
Oh yes, absolutely.
Kids that watch porn
are being taught
that sex is fun.
That's depressing to me.
I mean we expect pornographers
to teach children
about the reality of sex
and to teach them that
it's anything less
than humiliating and frightening
experience is wrong.
It is, sex leaves you
numb and shivering for days.
And these are
the kinds of things
that our kids really
need to know.
Pornographers should be
required to depict sex honestly.
They should always show
the actresses being lied to.
Oh right that would
be very educational.
What they should do is
have a man telling the woman
that he likes her very much
and that he'll see her
at her best friends
birthday party
two days later.
- Liar.
A Shuttleworth Institute report
found that 98% of porn movies
actually show the actors having
physically gratifying orgasms.
I have never experienced that
in my entire life.
Of course not. -It's going
to make kids think
they're doing
something wrong
when they find themselves
in a 3
to arouse their frigid partner
and then they fall asleep
with their hand
in her vagina.
Yeah but it's not
just pornography
that sends our kids
the wrong messages about sex.
Child psychologists say that
video games like Grand Theft Auto
make the process of picking
up prostitutes seem easy.
They're right, it
doesn't teach kids
that it's a
nerve-racking necessity.
Well and in that video game you
can just bludgeon a prostitute
with your gun. This is
sending the message to kids
that it is simple to kill a
hooker and get rid of her body.
And it's not, it's very
very time-consuming.
Of course it is. -You know
the game also doesn't teach kids
about the emotional side
of murdering whores.
That's right, it easily could.
The games should have a mission
where you have to avoid
eye contact with your wife
while you're
having breakfast
because you're just
so wrapped with shame.
It would be really helpful
about the biggest misconception
that kids are
getting about sex
is that it has anything
at all to do with love.
There is no love in the world.
There is only pain.
Right.
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