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The Onion

Turning to entertainment, Star Trek fans are decrying the latest film in the long running series, as a fun and watchable, action packed, thrill-ride. Yes, it was exciting. But where was the heavy-handed message about tolerance, where was the stiff acting? I mean it just didn't seem like a Star Trek movie to me. I'm just really, really, disappointed that this storyline made sense. If I wanted to see young, attractive people, doing cool exiting things I'd go watch sports. And, with us now to discuss the backlash is entertainment reporter Bree Lindsay. -- Hi Glen. Bree, is this Star Trek as riveting as the fans are complaining it is? Oh, Glen, early reviewers are calling it a delightful action-adventure movie, and a sure-fire hit. No wonder the fans feel betrayed here. Apparently there isn't even one scene set at a long table in which interstellar diplomacy is debated in endless detail. Really? I understand fans were angry that the the Klingon's dialog was subtitled, because it allows the Klingon's to be understood by people who haven't studied the imaginary language for years. Yes, but most fans were more upset by the look of the movie. Heart-stopping chases, state-of-the-art CGI, and alien battle scenes that don't just look like two, out of shape guys, in bad make up fighting awkwardly. That's a real slap in the face for Trek fans. Right, yes. But I think that the bigger issue is that fans felt like Star Trek belonged to them, and now the studio has turned it into something that people will actually like. What about the casting of up-and-coming young actor Chris Pine as James T. Kirk, instead of the aging, bloated, William Shatner? Of course that announcement was a huge disappointment for fans, and Shatner, alike. A lot of the fans have been saying that this movie sullies the vision of someone called Gene Roddenberry. Yes, Gene Roddenberry was the hack who created the Star Trek television show way back in the 4 So, is Paramount doing anything to combat all this negative press Bree? Yes, they are. They announced the DVD release will feature a special cut, just for the Star Trek fans, with three hours of extra footage in which characters stand around debating the merits of saving the Andorian Ambassador from the surface of Calyx 4 until you just wish everyone was dead. Well, that should be some consolation. -- Thanks Bree. -- Thanks Glen. Earlier today, paramount released this statement to ease fans concerns, "We stand behind this film, and firmly believe that in a few years it will seem just as dated and cornball as previous Star Trek films." Moving on now, an elderly black woman is still following President Obama around and shedding a single tear whenever he does anything. Still Ahead: dozens of millionaires feared dead in Scandinavian ice hotel collapse.