Onion News Network

The Onion

If you're one of the 8 that gets their news from cable, this next story may shock you. The watchdog group Fairness in Media release a report this week, accusing the weather channel of having a "clear and pronounced pro-weather bias." Joining us now live is the director of the Study, Debra Henley. Hello Michael. -Debra, good to have you with us. Your report condemns the weather channel For what you call, "One sided reporting." How do you back up that claim? -After watching hundreds of hours of programming, we concluded the weather channel clearly and consistently over-reports weather related events at the expense of other topics. There are on average four thousand mentions of weather in a single news day. -Four thousand, it's an amazing statistic. Are other view points represented at all? -Barely. I mean, you'd think that absolutely nothing was going on the I-2 other than light showers and isolated T-storms. and even more insidious - they try to make programming look varied by covering things like flight delays and vacation destinations, but they always manage to bring it back to weather. Well let's see what you're talking about, here is the clip from the Weather Channel. -Great, ok. Look at this clip. We are going to dazzle everybody, it's Holidazzle Parade going on in Minneapolis, this is at Nicollet mall, and of course this location typically quite cold.. -Do you see this? -It does seem fairly blatant. Yes. I mean, if you look closely you'll see their news ticker is little more than the temperatures of various cities running 24 hours a day. -I have noticed that. They even use, do you see this, background images to subtly influence your beliefs about weather. So it's a problems not only with the stories themselves. Exactly Michael. And they use flashy graphics and smooth jazz to distract viewers from the unrelenting pro-weather agenda that they're constantly pushing. That's unbelievable. What's behind it all, though? Well what we discovered in our research is that there's an ancient cabal of powerful weather fanatics operating outside any government. Sometimes called "The Cloud Elders", sometimes called "The Night's Doppler". Pulling the strings, not just of the weather channel, but of the umbrella industry, the sunscreen industry, we have to fight back. Debra Henely of "Fairness in Media", thank you and good luck with getting your message heard. -Thanks, Michael.