The Onion

Abolish The Electoral College?

November 29, 2000 | Issue 36•43

In light of the havoc it has wreaked this presidential election, many Americans are calling for an end to the electoral college. What do you think?

Old Woman

Irene Costa,
Reference Librarian
"No, we should not stop using the electoral college. We also should not stop spinning our own flax."

Asian Man

Reggie Ennis,
Cashier
"We must keep the electoral college. Without it, last night's Nightline probably would have been about the war on cholesterol."

Black Man

Manny Blake,
Systems Analyst
"The electoral-college system was designed to protect our nation from the ignorance of its people. And, based on the 2000 vote, it's still dearly needed."

Old Man

Tom Kallen,
Optometrist
"I'm all for getting rid of the electoral college, but wouldn't that mean we'd have to dig up Samuel J. Tilden and make him president retroactively?"

Young Man

Matt Funk,
Cab Dispatcher
"This election mess confirms what I've been saying for years: Our nation should be split into warring factions, each ruled by a warlord who receives messages from God."

Young Woman

Liz Lowery,
Sales Clerk
"The presidency should go to the candidate who earns the larger minority of the popular vote."

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