The Onion

Rudy Drops Out

May 24, 2000 | Issue 36•19

Last Friday, Rudolph Giuliani shook up the New York Senate race when he announced that he would not run against Hillary Clinton due to his recently diagnosed prostate cancer. What do you think about the decision?

Young Man

Bill Fordice,
Construction Worker
"As a strong Giuliani supporter, I'm disappointed to see him quit just because he got ball cancer."

Old Man

Richard Bottrell,
Systems Analyst
"That's one senate seat I wouldn't want. It's gonna smell all Moynihanny for years."

Black Man

Todd Kinnard,
Capitol Steps Performer
"I guess this means I'll have to scrap my outrageous Capitol Steps send-up, 'Rudolph The Hard-Nosed Committee Chair.'"

Young Woman

Liz Green,
Bond Trader
"As a New Yorker, I don't think someone should run for our senate seat unless they actually live in New York. Specifically Manhattan. On the Upper East Side. In the mid-80s. Above the 30th floor. In a corner apartment."

Asian Man

Hector Ramirez,
Cook
"Madre de Dios! Jewel y Yanni tienen cáncer?"

Old Woman

Linda Langevin,
English Teacher
"Mess with Hillary, get cancer. That's the kind of tough representation I want in Washington."

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