The Onion

The Candidate And Cocaine

September 1, 1999 | Issue 35•31

Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush continues to dodge questions about whether he has ever used cocaine or other illegal drugs. What do you think?

Old Man

Wayne Caldwell,
Systems Analyst
"Bush is a good man, and I'm sure he wouldn't have done drugs unless he absolutely had to."

Young Man

Paul Stankiewicz,
Meat Cutter
"He had access to cocaine? Man, I wish my dad was head of the CIA."

Young Woman

Linda Atkinson,
Commercial Artist
"This is the sort of thing that could cause America to lose faith in the privileged sons of the rich and powerful."

Asian Man

Randy Hart,
Welder
"A candidate who did drugs? I'm voting for him. He's sure to kick all the fat cats out of office and rule with groovy peace vibes."

Black Man

Steve
Loomi
,
Mathematician
"I can't believe the media is making such a big deal out of this utter non-issue. When I was hanging with George back in the '70s, we did lots worse stuff than that, believe me."

Old Woman

Margot Penny,
Insurance Agent
"I just don't understand. He had the whole world at his feet. Why would he want to party on drugs?"

Cut-and-paste

Include:

Preview

Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

It's up to you to write the rest of the blog post.

 

Text This Headline

 

Powered by TeleFlip use to email to any cell phone

  • Print
  • blog this
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • digg this

Personal of the Day