The Onion

The Debate Debate

September 13, 2000 | Issue 36•32

For months, Al Gore and George Bush have been unable to agree on a presidential-debate format, with each candidate accusing the other of ducking a face-off. What do you think?

Old Woman

Gloria Halpern,
Optometrist
"A free and open debate is absolutely vital if we are to maintain the illusion of American participatory democracy."

Young Man

Rich Ruffalo,
Custodian
"Shit, man, you just know it'll wind up preempting Nash Bridges."

Asian Man

Victor Huard,
Carpet Installer
"I thought Bush made a perfectly reasonable demand that the debate be set at a Bush rally and that Gore not be given a microphone."

Old Man

Arthur Reese,
Investment Advisor
"Any presidential debate will be a hollow sham unless they invite Natural Law Party candidate John Hagelin."

Young Woman

Lisa Helgenberg,
Graphic Designer
"We need a debate so the candidates can get to the heart of their carefully rehearsed opinions on a list of pre-selected topics."

Black Man

Andre Thomas,
Systems Analyst
"A debate would be an invaluable way to see just how different these candidates are. For example, on the issue of the death penalty, Bush supports it, while Gore is strongly in favor."

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