Campaign News

• Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate

  WASHINGTON—A team of nine specially trained handlers have successfully lured outgoing vice president Dick Cheney into a reinforced steel...

  Jan 13, 2009 | News In Brief

• Bush Spends Day Feverishly Booby-Trapping Desk

  WASHINGTON—In preparation for the traditional task of welcoming his successor to the Oval Office, outgoing president George W. Bush canceled...

  Jan 12, 2009 | News In Brief

• Single-Engine Cessna Crashes Into Bush

  CAMP DAVID, MD—The Federal Aviation Administration said engine failure was to blame for a pilot losing control of a four-seater Cessna...

  Jan 06, 2009 | News In Brief

• Bush Frustrated By Mother's Constant Questioning Of His Plans Post-White House

  WASHINGTON—With his departure from office only months away, President George W. Bush told reporters Monday that he is "fed up" with the way...

  Dec 14, 2008 | News In Brief

• McCain Stares At Screen, Attempts To Write Family Christmas Letter

  SEDONA, AZ—After procrastinating for several hours by watching It's A Wonderful Life and old John Wayne movies, former Republican...

  Dec 11, 2008 | News In Brief

• Supreme Court Overturns Bush v. Gore

  WASHINGTON—"Al Gore has prevailed—I hope he can see this nation through a catastrophic recession and an unending war in Iraq," said George W. Bush.

  Dec 09, 2008 | News

• Bush's Eyelid Accidentally Nailed To Wall

  WASHINGTON—President George W. Bush sustained a perforation injury to his right eyelid when a pneumatic nail gun malfunctioned and shot a...

  Dec 08, 2008 | News In Brief

• Bill Clinton Agrees To Disclose Guacamole Recipe

  WASHINGTON—In a major stride toward increased transparency of former presidents' culinary activities, Bill Clinton agreed Monday to disclose...

  Dec 04, 2008 | News In Brief

• Bush Dragged Behind Presidential Motorcade For 26 Blocks

  KANSAS CITY, MO—President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being...

  Dec 04, 2008 | News In Brief

• U.S. Economy Continues Campaigning For Barack Obama

  WASHINGTON—Nearly a month after Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States, the nation's economy is still going strong...

  Dec 02, 2008 | News In Brief