American Voices | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

- video
- sports
- On TV
- politics
- news beat
- more
- social
- A.V. Club
- Store
- Dating
- Contests

In The News
- Breeding Republicans
- Rumsfeld Scholarship
- Einstein 'Just That Stupid'
- Iran Worried
- Last Updated 3:53 PM

American Voices

'House' To End

ISSUE 48•07 | 02.13.12 | American Voices

Producers for the show House announced the current season of the popular medical drama would be its last. more»
Congress Clears U.S. Airspace For More Drones

ISSUE 48•07 | 02.10.12 | American Voices

With a vote of 75 to 20 in the Senate, Congress approved a bill that will allow more drones, military and private, in U.S. more»
Spanking Doesn't Work

ISSUE 48•06 | 02.09.12 | American Voices

A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal analyzed two decades of research and found that children who were punished physically became more aggressive over time, while those who weren't became less aggressive. more»
Smoking Speeds Mental Decline

ISSUE 48•06 | 02.08.12 | American Voices

A study published in Archives Of General Psychiatry found that middle-aged men who smoked had diminished cognitive skills, the equivalent of having aged an additional 10 years. more»
Migrating Whooping Cranes Stall In Alabama

ISSUE 48•06 | 02.07.12 | American Voices

Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination. more»
Florida Millionaire Adopts 42-Year-Old Girlfriend

ISSUE 48•06 | 02.06.12 | American Voices

A 48-year-old West Palm Beach millionaire and polo club founder has adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend in an apparent bid to avoid paying out a wrongful death lawsuit. more»
Should Sugar Be Regulated?

ISSUE 48•05 | 02.03.12 | American Voices

In a recent editorial in the journal Nature, researchers from the University of California–San Francisco suggested that as a toxic substance, sugar should be taxed and regulated like alcohol or tobacco. more»
Burmese Pythons Exterminating Everglades Mammals

ISSUE 48•05 | 02.02.12 | American Voices

A study in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy of Sciences links a drastic decline in raccoons and other mammals in the Florida everglades to the introduction of Burmese pythons. more»
Facebook To Launch IPO

ISSUE 48•05 | 02.01.12 | American Voices

Social networking site Facebook is expected to go public this week and will likely become the largest tech IPO in history. more»
Chevy To Sticker Cars' Environmental Impact

ISSUE 48•05 | 01.31.12 | American Voices

Beginning with its 2012 subcompact Sonic, Chevrolet will begin providing information on the lifetime environmental impact of its cars. more»
Dogs Domesticated Earlier Than Thought

ISSUE 48•05 | 01.30.12 | American Voices

The discovery of a jawbone in a Siberian cave may indicate the domestication of dogs took place 30,000 years ago, 16,000 years earlier than previously thought. more»
Oklahoma Bill Would Ban Use Of Fetuses In Food

ISSUE 48•04 | 01.27.12 | American Voices

A bill introduced by Oklahoma state senator Ralph Shortey would prohibit the use of aborted fetuses in food products. more»
Federal Employees Owe More Than $1 Billion In Taxes

ISSUE 48•04 | 01.26.12 | American Voices

According to the IRS, federal, postal, and congressional employees owe $1.03 billion in unpaid taxes. more»
Obama's State Of The Union

ISSUE 48•04 | 01.25.12 | American Voices

President Barack Obama delivered his third State of the Union last night. What do you think? more»
Giffords To Resign

ISSUE 48•04 | 01.24.12 | American Voices

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) announced on her website this past weekend that she would resign her seat in the House to concentrate on her recovery. more»
Paula Deen Has Diabetes

ISSUE 48•04 | 01.23.12 | American Voices

Chef Paula Deen announced this week that she has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. What do you think? more»
Obama Rejects Keystone Pipeline

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.20.12 | American Voices

Citing environmental concerns, the Obama administration is rejecting the proposed Canada-to-U.S. oil pipeline, but may reconsider if the builders propose a different route. more»
Santorum Won Iowa Caucus

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.19.12 | American Voices

A recount of votes in the Iowa caucus shows that former senator Rick Santorum actually beat Mitt Romney by 34 votes. more»
Zappos Hacked

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.18.12 | American Voices

The online shoe retailer Zappos was hacked, leaving much of its customer data compromised. What do you think? more»
Murder No Longer Among Top Killers In U.S.

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.17.12 | American Voices

For the first time since 1965, murder was not among the top 15 causes of death in the United States, having been replaced by the respiratory ailment pneumonitis. more»
Huntsman Drops Out

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.16.12 | American Voices

Jon Huntsman announced he is dropping out of the race and endorsing Mitt Romney. What do you think? more»
Court Overturns Oklahoma Sharia Law Ban

ISSUE 48•02 | 01.13.12 | American Voices

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled it was discriminatory for Oklahoma to single out Sharia in its ban of religious law and stated there was no evidence the Islamic legal code had influenced the U.S. more»
Hostess Files For Bankruptcy

ISSUE 48•02 | 01.12.12 | American Voices

Hostess, the manufacturer of such American food staples as Wonder Bread, the Twinkie, and the Ding Dong, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. more»
Romney Wins New Hampshire

ISSUE 48•02 | 01.11.12 | American Voices

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney won New Hampshire’s Republican primary yesterday. What do you think? more»
Will Google, Facebook Stage Blackout Protest?

ISSUE 48•02 | 01.10.12 | American Voices

A number of Internet companies, including Google, Facebook, Amazon, Wikipedia, and Twitter, have reportedly considered a coordinated blackout of services to protest the controversial Stop Online Piracy Act. more»
First Mixed-Embryo Monkey Born

ISSUE 48•02 | 01.09.12 | American Voices

Scientists reported in the journal Cell the first successful birth of a monkey composed of stem cells from six different monkey embryos. more»
Perry Stays In Race

ISSUE 48•01 | 01.06.12 | American Voices

Despite a disappointing fifth-place finish in the Iowa caucus, Texas governor Rick Perry decided to stay in the Republican presidential race. more»
Fracking Causing Earthquakes?

ISSUE 48•01 | 01.05.12 | American Voices

Fracking wastewater is being blamed for several recent Youngstown, OH earthquakes, including one that reached a magnitude of 4.0. more»
Some Organics Not Green

ISSUE 48•01 | 01.04.12 | American Voices

As they ramp up production to meet the demands of a growing market, some organic farms are coming under scrutiny for agricultural practices that may do more harm to the land than good. more»
President Signs Controversial Defense Bill

ISSUE 48•01 | 01.03.12 | American Voices

Despite having fought against many of its provisions, President Obama signed a defense appropriations bill that allows the military to detain American citizens indefinitely. more»