Archive Feature

Pet Eligibles

Critters Who Need Good Homes

Archive Feature ISSUE 29•24 Jul 23, 1996
Maggie, a six-year old Australian Shepherd mix, has an unbelievable tongue that's eager to lick gravy off anything; maybe even you! Loves kids. Max ...

Sports

Archive Feature ISSUE 29•24 Jul 23, 1996
Olympic mascot Izzy is at it again! When he's not appearing in corporate product placements, he's teaching kids worldwide that America has no ...

Sports

Archive Feature ISSUE 29•21 Jun 18, 1996
Royals pitcher Bob Reed hurled a no-hitter Monday, greatly increasing his chances of obtaining sexual favors this week in the Kansas City metropolitan area.

Drunk Of The Week

MITCH MELUM

Archive Feature ISSUE 24•16 Dec 6, 1993
Alcohol is EVIL! Congratulations to The Onion’sDRUNK of the WEEKMITCH MELUMMitch earned his place among Madison’s most honored drunks by head-butting an innocent ...