The Events Depicted In ‘Star Wars’ Actually Happened To MeCommentary • ISSUE 49•21 • May 23, 2013 By George Lucas
Life’s Too Short To Get Hung Up On The Mysterious Circumstances Surrounding Your Wife’s DeathCommentary • ISSUE 49•21 • May 22, 2013 By Neil Campbell
I'd Say My Least Favorite Part About Being A Restroom Attendant Is Spending 8 Hours A Day In A Room Where People DefecateCommentary • ISSUE 49•20 • May 14, 2013 By Benjamin Canfield
The 'Great Gatsby' Movie Was Nowhere Near As Good As The Book 'The Hit' By David BaldacciCommentary • ISSUE 49•19 • May 10, 2013 By Matt Rosensteele
Men Are The BestCommentary • ISSUE 49•19 • May 8, 2013 By Amanda Berry, Georgina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight
How Am I Supposed To Get Off When News Networks Only Show Obese People From The Neck Down?Commentary • ISSUE 49•19 • May 8, 2013 By Derek Ralphs
We Were Going To Take Over The ‘Onion’ Website, But It’s A Real Mess With All Those AdsCommentary • ISSUE 49•19 • May 6, 2013 By The Syrian Electronic Army
After Checking Your Bank Account, Remember To Log Out, Close The Web Browser, And Throw Your Computer Into The OceanCommentary • ISSUE 49•18 • Apr 30, 2013 By Karen Seubert, Privacy And Security Expert, Chase Bank
I've Been Having Some Pretty Fucked-Up Bread Thoughts LatelyCommentary • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 24, 2013 By A Duck
I Guess When My Older Brother Said 'Let's Bomb The Boston Marathon,' I Should Have Said NoCommentary • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 23, 2013 By Dzhokar A. Tsarnaev
I WonCommentary • ISSUE 49•16 • Apr 18, 2013 By Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President of the National Rifle Association
If I Could Live In Any Decade, It Would Definitely Be The 960sCommentary • ISSUE 49•16 • Apr 17, 2013 By Jonathan Soifer
This Is A Tragedy—Does It Really Matter Exactly How Many People Died Or What Any Of The Details Are?Commentary • ISSUE 49•16 • Apr 16, 2013 By Col Allan, 'New York Post’ Editor
There's No Way I'm Ever Molesting A Kid After What Happened To Jerry SanduskyCommentary • ISSUE 49•15 • Apr 10, 2013 By Dan Knapp
I'm Weighing Whether Or Not I Want To Go Through The Hell Of Appealing To You Idiotic, Uninformed OafsCommentary • ISSUE 49•15 • Apr 9, 2013 By Hillary Clinton
Hey Guys, It's Been A While Since I Wrote One Of These ColumnsCommentary • ISSUE 49•14 • Apr 4, 2013 By Sean Penn
I Guess I'm The Only One Who Remembers The Time We Upset UConnCommentary • ISSUE 49•14 • Apr 3, 2013 By Mike Rice, Former Rutgers Basketball coach
Gather Round, Kids, And I'll Tell You The Story Of How Your Mother And I Fell Out Of LoveCommentary • ISSUE 49•14 • Apr 2, 2013 By Greg Kirkpatrick
Only By Working Together Can We All Cover For My Absolute Lack Of AbilityCommentary • ISSUE 49•13 • Mar 28, 2013 By Steve Mullin
I Feel Very Strongly About The Issue Of Same Sex Marriage Because I Have A Gay SonCommentary • ISSUE 49•13 • Mar 26, 2013 By God
Commentary
The Events Depicted In ‘Star Wars’ Actually Happened To Me
Life’s Too Short To Get Hung Up On The Mysterious Circumstances Surrounding Your Wife’s Death
I'd Say My Least Favorite Part About Being A Restroom Attendant Is Spending 8 Hours A Day In A Room Where People Defecate
The 'Great Gatsby' Movie Was Nowhere Near As Good As The Book 'The Hit' By David Baldacci
Men Are The Best
How Am I Supposed To Get Off When News Networks Only Show Obese People From The Neck Down?
We Were Going To Take Over The ‘Onion’ Website, But It’s A Real Mess With All Those Ads
After Checking Your Bank Account, Remember To Log Out, Close The Web Browser, And Throw Your Computer Into The Ocean
I've Been Having Some Pretty Fucked-Up Bread Thoughts Lately
I Guess When My Older Brother Said 'Let's Bomb The Boston Marathon,' I Should Have Said No
I Won
If I Could Live In Any Decade, It Would Definitely Be The 960s
This Is A Tragedy—Does It Really Matter Exactly How Many People Died Or What Any Of The Details Are?
There's No Way I'm Ever Molesting A Kid After What Happened To Jerry Sandusky
I'm Weighing Whether Or Not I Want To Go Through The Hell Of Appealing To You Idiotic, Uninformed Oafs
Hey Guys, It's Been A While Since I Wrote One Of These Columns
I Guess I'm The Only One Who Remembers The Time We Upset UConn
Gather Round, Kids, And I'll Tell You The Story Of How Your Mother And I Fell Out Of Love
Only By Working Together Can We All Cover For My Absolute Lack Of Ability
I Feel Very Strongly About The Issue Of Same Sex Marriage Because I Have A Gay Son