You’re New Here, But You Should Know That I’m The Guy Whose Computer People Gather Around To Watch Funny VideosCommentary • ISSUE 49•30 • Jul 26, 2013 By Mark Waggoner
Without Guns, How Am I Supposed To Defend Myself From My Family?Commentary • ISSUE 49•30 • Jul 23, 2013 By Sean Lewis
Just Once I’d Like To Make A Hotel Reservation Without Hearing About Someone’s Relative Surviving The HolocaustCommentary • ISSUE 49•29 • Jul 16, 2013 By Elie Wiesel
In Our Defense, These Were Some Pretty Fucked-Up Laws And We Were Ordered To Deliberate In Accordance With ThemCommentary • ISSUE 49•29 • Jul 15, 2013 By Juror E6
I Think People Could Have Been A Little More Sympathetic About My Broken NoseCommentary • ISSUE 49•28 • Jul 10, 2013 By George Zimmerman
If You Think You Can Talk To Your Mother Like That, Then You’ve Paid Attention To The Way I’ve Subtly Degraded Her For YearsCommentary • ISSUE 49•28 • Jul 9, 2013 By Jim Travis
Last Time I Checked This Was Still America, But If I’m Being Honest, That Was A While AgoCommentary • ISSUE 49•27 • Jul 2, 2013 By William K. Marlatt
Well, Time To Go Out In Front Of A Bunch Of People And Lie To ThemCommentary • ISSUE 49•26 • Jun 25, 2013 By Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary
Sometimes When Things Get Really Stressful, I Close My Eyes, Sit Back, And Pretend I’m Back In KenyaCommentary • ISSUE 49•25 • Jun 18, 2013 By Barack Obama, 44th President Of The United States
The Government Has No Right To Pry Into What Goes On In The Privacy Of Your HomeCommentary • ISSUE 49•24 • Jun 13, 2013 By Ariel Castro
Nothing Gets Me Wetter Than A Monotonous Domestic RoutineCommentary • ISSUE 49•24 • Jun 11, 2013 By Melanie Kayfetz
If You Wish To Be A Writer, Have Sex With Someone Who Works In PublishingCommentary • ISSUE 49•23 • Jun 4, 2013 By Joyce Carol Oates
Perhaps The Gimmick Of My Father And Me Starring In A Movie Is Actually More Annoying Than AppealingCommentary • ISSUE 49•22 • May 31, 2013 By Jaden Smith
If I Hold Out Another 2 Years, They’ll Give Me The Really Big Pension BoneCommentary • ISSUE 49•22 • May 31, 2013 By Sgt. Towser, Police Dog, 38th Precinct
You Haven’t Seen ‘Frances Ha’ Until You’ve Seen It In IMAXCommentary • ISSUE 49•22 • May 30, 2013 By Noah Baumbach
We Made A Big Gamble On Americans Wanting To Sit Around And Mindlessly Watch TV For Hours Straight, But It Paid OffCommentary • ISSUE 49•22 • May 29, 2013 By Reed Hastings, Netflix CEO
Ancient Egyptian Agriculture Revolved Around 3 Seasons And Was Heavily Dependent On IrrigationCommentary • ISSUE 49•22 • May 28, 2013 By Amanda Bynes
The Events Depicted In ‘Star Wars’ Actually Happened To MeCommentary • ISSUE 49•21 • May 23, 2013 By George Lucas
Life’s Too Short To Get Hung Up On The Mysterious Circumstances Surrounding Your Wife’s DeathCommentary • ISSUE 49•21 • May 22, 2013 By Neil Campbell
Commentary
You’re New Here, But You Should Know That I’m The Guy Whose Computer People Gather Around To Watch Funny Videos
Without Guns, How Am I Supposed To Defend Myself From My Family?
Just Once I’d Like To Make A Hotel Reservation Without Hearing About Someone’s Relative Surviving The Holocaust
In Our Defense, These Were Some Pretty Fucked-Up Laws And We Were Ordered To Deliberate In Accordance With Them
I Think People Could Have Been A Little More Sympathetic About My Broken Nose
If You Think You Can Talk To Your Mother Like That, Then You’ve Paid Attention To The Way I’ve Subtly Degraded Her For Years
Last Time I Checked This Was Still America, But If I’m Being Honest, That Was A While Ago
Well, Time To Go Out In Front Of A Bunch Of People And Lie To Them
Sometimes When Things Get Really Stressful, I Close My Eyes, Sit Back, And Pretend I’m Back In Kenya
The Government Has No Right To Pry Into What Goes On In The Privacy Of Your Home
Nothing Gets Me Wetter Than A Monotonous Domestic Routine
If You Wish To Be A Writer, Have Sex With Someone Who Works In Publishing
Oh Shit, I Totally Forgot That Happens!
Perhaps The Gimmick Of My Father And Me Starring In A Movie Is Actually More Annoying Than Appealing
If I Hold Out Another 2 Years, They’ll Give Me The Really Big Pension Bone
You Haven’t Seen ‘Frances Ha’ Until You’ve Seen It In IMAX
We Made A Big Gamble On Americans Wanting To Sit Around And Mindlessly Watch TV For Hours Straight, But It Paid Off
Ancient Egyptian Agriculture Revolved Around 3 Seasons And Was Heavily Dependent On Irrigation
The Events Depicted In ‘Star Wars’ Actually Happened To Me
Life’s Too Short To Get Hung Up On The Mysterious Circumstances Surrounding Your Wife’s Death