Please Click On Our Website's Banner AdsCommentary • ISSUE 48•48 • Nov 28, 2012 By Hammond Morris, Onion Advertising Columnist
Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This OnceCommentary • ISSUE 48•46 • Nov 13, 2012 By A Raccoon
This May Not Be The Ideal Moment Politically, But It’s Time To Talk ReparationsCommentary • ISSUE 48•44 • Nov 1, 2012 By Barack Obama, Incumbent Candidate For President Of The United States
The Word 'Spooktacular' Used To Mean Something In This CountryCommentary • ISSUE 48•44 • Oct 31, 2012 By Garrett Lowe
I Hope The Guy Who Got Knocked Out By The American Thighs In That Song Is OkayCommentary • ISSUE 48•43 • Oct 26, 2012 By Janice Weingarten
I Mean, If I Lose To Mitt Romney, I'll Probably Kill MyselfCommentary • ISSUE 48•43 • Oct 25, 2012 By Barack Obama, Incumbent Candidate For President Of The United States
Would A Man Who Doesn't Support Women Let His Wife Pick Out Any Oven She Wants For Her Birthday?Commentary • ISSUE 48•42 • Oct 17, 2012 By Mitt Romney, Republican Nominee For President Of The United States
Okay, Let's Cut To The Chase—Which People Do I Know Who You Also Know Who Went To Your School?Commentary • ISSUE 48•42 • Oct 16, 2012 By John Haber
You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very BadlyCommentary • ISSUE 48•39 • Sep 28, 2012 By Alana ‘Honey Boo Boo’ Thompson
My Ex-Girlfriend Must Be Getting Pretty Desperate To Keep Answering All Of My CallsCommentary • ISSUE 48•39 • Sep 26, 2012 By Andrew Miller
Now That My Campaign Is Over, I'd Like To Talk To You All About The Church Of Latter-Day SaintsCommentary • ISSUE 48•38 • Sep 19, 2012 By Mitt Romney, Republican Nominee For President Of The United States
Your Honor, This Is Going To Sound Silly, But How Am I Doing So Far?Commentary • ISSUE 48•37 • Sep 12, 2012 By Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor
Good Evening, It's An Honor To Be Used As A Political Prop By My Husband's CampaignCommentary • ISSUE 48•36 • Sep 4, 2012 By Michelle Obama, First Lady Of The United States
I Wish My Parents Would Stop E-Mailing Naked Pictures Of Me To Their FriendsCommentary • ISSUE 48•36 • Sep 4, 2012 By Aiden Thomas, Baby
I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is 'I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being'Commentary • ISSUE 48•34 • Aug 20, 2012 By Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO)
It Would Be An Honor To Serve My Country, Return With PTSD, Sit On A Mental Health Care Waitlist, Then Kill MyselfCommentary • ISSUE 48•33 • Aug 15, 2012 By U.S. Army Pfc. Edwin Quinones
Commentary
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Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This Once
This May Not Be The Ideal Moment Politically, But It’s Time To Talk Reparations
The Word 'Spooktacular' Used To Mean Something In This Country
I Hope The Guy Who Got Knocked Out By The American Thighs In That Song Is Okay
I Mean, If I Lose To Mitt Romney, I'll Probably Kill Myself
Would A Man Who Doesn't Support Women Let His Wife Pick Out Any Oven She Wants For Her Birthday?
Okay, Let's Cut To The Chase—Which People Do I Know Who You Also Know Who Went To Your School?
They Can Never Take Away My Memories
I Want To Know What True Lunch Is
You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very Badly
My Ex-Girlfriend Must Be Getting Pretty Desperate To Keep Answering All Of My Calls
Now That My Campaign Is Over, I'd Like To Talk To You All About The Church Of Latter-Day Saints
Your Honor, This Is Going To Sound Silly, But How Am I Doing So Far?
Good Evening, It's An Honor To Be Used As A Political Prop By My Husband's Campaign
I Wish My Parents Would Stop E-Mailing Naked Pictures Of Me To Their Friends
Here Are All Of My Opinions
Haven’t We All Done Steroids, In A Way?
I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is 'I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being'
It Would Be An Honor To Serve My Country, Return With PTSD, Sit On A Mental Health Care Waitlist, Then Kill Myself