Corrections

Jaunt

Corrections ISSUE 49•43 Oct 23, 2013
Last Wednesday, The Onion used the word “jaunt” well over 10 times in the article “Suspect Jaunts Off With Stolen Cash.” The Onion regrets leaning ...

Baker's Dozen

Corrections ISSUE 49•41 Oct 9, 2013
 Last Monday, The Onion referred to the 13 Alzheimer’s fatalities at St. Bernadette Hospital this year as a “baker’s dozen.”

CVV

Corrections ISSUE 49•39 Sep 28, 2013
The Onion incorrectly published the credit card information of subscriber Susan Stehmeyer yesterday.

Lottery Numbers

Corrections ISSUE 49•37 Sep 14, 2013
Once again, The Onion would like to remind readers that the lottery numbers appearing in our paper each day are our best guesses for that ...

Move On

Corrections ISSUE 49•33 Aug 18, 2013
The Onion isn’t sure exactly what it did wrong, but it’ll apologize if that’s what you need to hear to move on.

Please Forget

Corrections ISSUE 49•33 Aug 14, 2013
Last week’s issues included several advertisements for Bill’s Hardware. As we have yet to receive payment for said advertisements, please forget you ever ...

Julie

Corrections ISSUE 49•29 Jul 17, 2013
In yesterday’s issue we accidentally wrote “Julie Gallant” in place of every name in every article.

Today's Date

Corrections ISSUE 49•25 Jun 19, 2013
Yesterday’s front page listed the date as June 19, 2013, which can’t be right. No, of course not, unless…unless the time machine ...