Last week's food section included a recipe for meatless chili, but it turns out meat is pretty important for chili not to taste terrible.

In last Thursday's issue, there were several instances in which The Onion mistakenly referred to a restaurant as a "fooding house." The Onion regrets ...

Last week The Onion mistakenly regretted an error made in a previous issue. It should be noted that The Onion lamented that particular error.

Last week The Onion referred to the Full Moon Killer as the Corpse-Making Killer. The Onion was unaware that everyone was already calling him the ...

Our random quote generator once again selected an excerpt from a speech given by murderous Ugandan dictator Idi Amin for last week's "Words Of ...

As a heads-up to our readers, next week's Summer Fashion Preview is going to blow. Sorry.

Although The Onion did not make any mistakes in yesterday's newspaper, we still have to fill this space with text lest we leave a ...

Last week The Onion reported that no one attended Eli O'Neal's going away party, when in reality we meant funeral, which was, at ...

The Onion recently wrote that permanence is an illusion. We in the media strive to prevent metaphysical bias from coloring our reporting, and The Onion ...

The solution to last week's brainteaser contained a mistake. The correct answer is five swastikas. The Onion regrets the error.

The Onion would like to apologize for erroneously stating that the Fillmore High School marching band car-wash fundraiser will be held Sunday from 1 p ...

Contrary to what was reported yesterday, there are no more free whole-fryer chickens just lying on the ground outside the loading dock at Ed's ...

Early this morning one of our deliverymen managed to run over not one but two dogs along Beacon Street.

There was a misprint in last week's coded message to schizophrenics. The third letter on the sixth line of the second page was supposed ...

The latest Onion Conspiracy Index omitted a key player. We regret that this arch-puppeteer has ensnared us in its global scheme and won’t allow ...

Staff writer J.O. Rolston’s Jan. 28 feature "Swing Set," about swing revivalists Squirrel Nut Zippers, was mistakenly written in 2012.

Last week, The Onion mixed up the dates of the First and Second Punic Wars in the story "Bedford-Area Girl Kidnapped." The Onion regrets the ...

The Onion regrets printing an article about the way dentists recommend brushing. They're your teeth; do what you want.

For years, The Onion has systematically cataloged all our web users' personal information: what they were reading, when they were reading it, and which articles ...

Due to a printing error, last week's comics page did not include the final panel of The Wizard Of Id.