The Onion is going to be frank: We have no recollection of who Geena Davis is.

In last week's issue, The Onion incorrectly stated that education is the key to success. Being born into money is, actually.

Our stock photo for last week's article on the benefits of meditation depicted a man sitting cross-legged while wearing a leotard.

Last Sunday's op-ed was printed without appropriate permission from its author. The Onion would like to offer an apology to award-winning columnist Thomas Friedman ...

On Friday, The Onion mistakenly gave the incorrect address for our website. It is www.theonion.com, not www.worldofsharpeis.angelfire.com/sharpeigallery/misterwrinkles/images ...

Last week, The Onion totally goofed up big time but is too embarrassed to say how, so just know that we're really, really, really ...

The Onion incorrectly reported that President Obama will be making a surprise trip to Afghanistan next week.

We're not sure if people understood the play on words in last week's Onion headline “Political Rahma.” We were going for “political drama ...

We're not sure if people understood the play on words in last week's Onion headline “Political Rahma.” We were going for “political drama ...

In last week's Onion, we gave the movie Morning Glory a three-star review, forgetting that we no longer use the star system.

Last week we reported that resistance against the evil Dr. Mindcontrol continued worldwide. We don't know where we got such outlandish ideas; such a ...

The Onion used the phrase "comprised of" instead of "comprising" on Tuesday. The Onion would like to apologize to the President of the Correct Use ...

Last week, The Onion mistakenly reported the distance from the earth to the sun as 150 ◊ 106 km.

In last week's traffic forecast we predicted there would be a collision at the intersection of Tary and Pontson.

The number at the top of this page should be 12, not the number indicated. The Onion regrets the error.

In last week's Women & Beer cartoon, it was suggested that you cannot live with them and cannot live without them.

A recent article misstated Joe Biden's position on Heidi Klum. The vice president called Ms. Klum "überfuckable." Sarah Palin was the "sober five, drunk ...

In last Friday's movie review section, The Onion awarded the upcoming film Four Stars four stars.

In last week's issue, there was not a single awesome photo of a monster truck jumping through a giant fireball.

The Onion incorrectly stated that third prize in our upcoming subscription-sales contest is you're fired.