The final period from the final sentence from the final story in the last issue was missing. Here it is now: .

The Onion regrets that last week's report on the challenges facing British prime minister Gordon Brown neglected to include dandruff.

Over the last few months, The Onion has received complaints about "fancy words" in the paper that our readership couldn't understand.

Last Friday's "Uncorked" feature should have stated that the 2005 Louis Jadot Beaujolais-Villages pairs perfectly with roast duck in plum sauce, not fig-braised lamb ...

Last week, The Onion reported on a plot to poison the nation's water supply, a story that turned out to be false.

The issue from two weeks ago included an engagement announcement for Ron Perez and Marcy Jayson. Mr. Perez informs us that he is not engaged ...

The Onion's review of the 2009 Nissan 370Z called the car's brakes "unreliable and unsafe." The brakes performed far better in subsequent, sober ...

The Onion was misquoted in a recent New York Times article. We regret that not all newspapers share our commitment to accuracy and excellence.

In last Friday's Arts section, The Onion reported that Henry Hilibsky's painting Blue Potato Chips was about human suffering.

Last week, The Onion reported that in exchange for a prominent position in the New World Order, it had given its unconditional allegiance to the ...

Last week's architectural review of the Ontario Art Gallery stated that the building's design "playfully blends the visible with the unseen, goading the ...

The Onion has learned that an article published last week was incorrect, and that the moon will not disappear tomorrow.

At several points in its past, The Onion has been a staunch advocate of snowball fights. However, since Elia Rosenberg was struck in the ear ...

Ya know what? We correctly identified the capital of Belarus as Minsk, not Vitebsk like you all wrote in.

Last week's issue of The Onion was published without a lengthy anti-Irish polemic. The Onion regrets the error.

In last week's Sports section, The Onion published a story on an illegal dogfight. The Onion apologizes for printing such low-resolution photos.

In Saturday's Fashion Corner coverage of the Four Christmases premiere, the descriptions of Reese Witherspoon and Mary Steenburgen were accidentally switched.

In last week's article about small business, The Onion incorrectly identified the cashier at Bobby's Furniture Warehouse.

A recent how-to piece, "Shake Your Money Maker," should have specified that by "money maker" we meant ass.

Last week, The Onion mislabeled a photo of an Apache trout as a rainbow trout. Happy, Vince from Wyoming?