The Rockets battle the Thunder in the first of 783 rounds of the NBA playoffs.

The Lakers face the Spurs in the first round of the NBA playoffs, reigniting a rivalry not quite as old as most of the players ...

The Ravens battle the Patriots in the AFC Championship game, which will be won or lost in the trenches that the Gillette Stadium grounds crew ...

The Falcons host the 49ers in the NFC Championship and are reminding players not to openly masturbate during the national anthem.

The Packers battle the 49ers in the NFC divisional playoff game for a rematch of every single time these two teams have met.

The Falcons host the Saints in a game in which a victory for Atlanta will bring the team one step closer to an inevitable playoff ...

The Jets host the Patriots in a battle between an elite quarterback and, well, it's Thanksgiving, so nicer not to say anything at all.

The Cowboys host the Redskins for a game that will go to whoever wants it more, unless the team that wants it more fumbles six ...

The Ravens battle the Steelers in a game in which both teams will leave everything on the field, making it difficult to travel across the ...

The Texans battle the Bears in what could be a high-scoring defensive shootout.

The Celtics battle the Heat in a rematch of the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals featuring intrigue, betrayal, and a bunch of pricks.

The Falcons journey to Philadelphia to face the Eagles in a beak-to-beak bird battle for the ages.

The Detroit Tigers and the San Francisco Giants face off in the World Series, vying for the 16th most important title in professional sports.

The Ravens battle the Texans in a game that most of the players will have no recollection of the next day.

The 49ers host the Seahawks, frantically looking for more chairs and preparing their guests’ favorite meal.

The Giants and 49ers battle in a game that could impact the number one seed that neither team wants. Onion Sports looks at what each ...

The Packers face the Texans in the soulless and revolting city of Houston, which sounds far more horrifying than losing a football game.

The Broncos travel to New England to enjoy the stunning colors of the Patriots' uniforms. Onion Sports looks at what each team must do to ...

The Rams host the Cardinals for a game that someone at the NFL Network will get fired for scheduling.