Can the portly American compete with a sleek Chinese fishing-craft? Marvel at the magnitude of his failure.
Keys To The Matchup
What's crucial and what's not in this early-season Subway-non-World Series.
The NBA Finals will be a classic matchup of speed versus strength. But which team has which?
As the NBA Western Conference comes down to an established powerhouse against a plucky up-and-comer, we present our guide to this almost certain blowout.
It's a classic big-offense vs. tough-defense Super Bowl. For now, we'll ignore how defense always wins those.
The winningest team in football goes to Detroit this Thanksgiving to face the losingest.
It's an epic Big 12 battle with national ranking implications. Will it be any good?
The World Series is underway, and Onion Sports looks at what these teams must do, especially if they wish to win.
Two of the most self-important programs in college football meet in this utterly unimportant early season game.
Monday Night Football opens its 2008 season with a combination rivalry and identity crisis.
Usain Bolt of Jamaica and Tyson Gay of the U.S. are favorites in the Olympic 100 meters, but exactly what must they do to ...
The entire offseason comes down to this: The Colts, The Redskins, and the Hall of Fame Game.
Probably not a shot-for-shot remake of the classic 1980s Finals.
What to expect when Pittsburgh's offensive flash meets Detroit's defensive whatever.
Baseball's oldest rivalry gets even older for three days next week.
Penske's cars won at Daytona. Hendrick's cars are the best bet to win it all. Onion Sports breaks down 2008's hottest NASCAR ...
Every year the best players in football get together in Hawaii for reasons that remain unclear.
And so it's come to this.
Onion Sports looks ahead to the blockbuster December 13 meeting of these two heavyweight teams.
The Thanksgiving edition of Keys To The Matchup focuses on the annual Detroit game.