COLUMBIA, MO—Contractor Lewis Petersen, 46, felt guilty about installing floors in a new house on Doyle Street, as he knows good and well that floors are unnecessary and a scam.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•11 • Mar 11, 2013
BALTIMORE—Milton Delmonico donated this wing to Johns Hopkins University Library, and he’ll be damned if anyone’s going to try to make him leave it.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•10 • Mar 8, 2013
WICHITA, KS—Emma Luck, a grown woman, joined a softball team to make friends.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•10 • Mar 7, 2013
PLANO, TX—While setting up for his monthly masquerade sex party, Devin Fuller put out little cups on the snack table so guests could take their craisins with them into another room.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•10 • Mar 6, 2013
CUMBERLAND, RI—The new guy in the cubicle next to Paul Alexander, 41, smells like a fresh haircut.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•10 • Mar 5, 2013 CUMBERLAND, RI—The new guy in the cubicle next to Paul Alexander, 41, smells like a fresh haircut.
TULSA, OK—Maybe she's missing something, but Sue Anderson, 48, just didn’t think the touring production of Jersey Boys was all that great. There, she said it.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•09 • Mar 2, 2013
LOS ANGELES—Two rival gang members decided to put down their guns and just punch each other all day.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•09 • Mar 1, 2013
HOUSTON—After that nice Bangladeshi family moved away, Pearl Mittner took to making curries every night so the apartment hallway wouldn’t lose its familiar odor.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•09 • Feb 27, 2013
HAVRE, MT—Goddarnit if all this talk of crackers on the television ain’t making Bobby Kay a mite thirstful.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•09 • Feb 25, 2013
LEWISTON, ID—Area man Mitch Lamaar, 31, was determined to create a clever new idiom, but the best he could come up with was “Cake as a reward is tastier than cake for no reason.”National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 23, 2013
MINNEAPOLIS—Sean Renst, 23, imagined a really hot girl living directly below him as he made it the closest he’s ever been to playing “Blackbird” all the way through on guitar.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 21, 2013
NEWTON, MA—Chrissy Leon didn’t like those starving kids in the banner ad staring at her, so she refreshed the webpage until something else came up.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 20, 2013
NATCHEZ, MS—Local shop owner Daniel Kerr, 37, realized the success or failure of his small business depended almost entirely on the lunkheads who live around him.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 18, 2013
EL PASO, TX—Since all contestants showed prowess in keeping theirs airborne, judges to the annual kite-flying contest were unable to choose a definite winner.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•07 • Feb 15, 2013
MILWAUKEE—Chuck Cunningham figured someday he’d find out who his real friends were, but he never expected it would involve the sudden, terrifying removal of masks.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•07 • Feb 13, 2013
CLAYMONT, DE—Frank Santopadre knows his story is bombing but has gone too far to turn back now.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•07 • Feb 11, 2013
FORT WAYNE, IN—Terry Taylor spent the afternoon imagining what colorful nickname the news channels would give him if he went around murdering people with his lawnmower.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•06 • Feb 9, 2013
QUINCY, MA—Local parents John and Leah Helman decided that the family was using the dog so often it was time to get a second dog.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•06 • Feb 5, 2013
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Jeremy Luft bought a 60-dollar lizard.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•05 • Feb 1, 2013
LOS ANGELES—The sunglasses and hat disguise worn by Kirstie Alley, 62, successfully fooled paparazzi into thinking she was some nobody.National News Highlights • ISSUE 49•05 • Jan 31, 2013
