MCALESTER, OK—Andrew Maniloff, 29, wants to put his change neatly back into his wallet, but fuck, there’s like a billion people in line ...
PHILADELPHIA—Diane Carpola, 68, continued her longstanding tradition of answering the phone by asking, “Who’s this?”
JOHN DAY, OR—Diner patron Cliff Fromer knew he was dying from the robber’s gunshot, but that didn’t stop him from getting one ...
POOLESVILLE, MD—Veronica Dunn, 24, took a moment to admire the manner in which the year’s first gentle snowfall blanketed her street before skidding ...
FREEPORT, IL—Dave Heidecker, 31, figured it was probably time to bring the sofa indoors for winter.
AUSTIN, TX—Melissa Collins, 38, thinks she must be the unluckiest person in the whole world, but that’s only because she doesn’t know ...
FUNSTON, GA—The students in Dana Edgington’s eighth-grade English class looked forward to crushing her spirit a little bit more today.
FITZWILLIAM, NH—Tim Java, 36, would finally settle down if only the world contained a woman who was capable of making fish sticks the way ...
CHARLOTTE, NC—Devon Tolbert, 29, turned out to be the male version of Devon.
PURCELLVILLE, VA—For the life of her, Meagan Turner can’t remember when or how she got this key to the city of Tucson that ...
SAN ANTONIO—Eddie Philips tricked his aunt Maria into allowing proper nouns in Scrabble.
ABERDEEN, SD—Brandon Timmons, 11, soaked his alto saxophone reed in Dr. Pepper before the Winter Concert, and it tasted awesome.
CHICAGO—It turns out that Bryan Hayes, 25, has no other place to read Proust but in a really crowded coffee shop.
LONDONDERRY, NH—While hand-making pasta with his fiancée, Mark Boden tried to imagine them hand-making pasta as a married couple, and he couldn’t.
SPOKANE, WA—It’s getting harder and harder for police sketch artist Elizabeth Cagle to hide the fact that she basically draws the same three ...
RICHMOND, VA—Katy Mullins, 43, transferred the contents of a cereal box into a similarly sized plastic canister.
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—Joan Wilford’s health insurance won’t cover a second crutch.
HILLSBORO, OR—Pausing a moment during his shift, department store manager Garrett Trudder thought that if there were an award for cleanest store mannequins in ...
SOMERVILLE, MA—Drew Engel, 27, can point to his roommate’s fingernail or toenail clippings in every single room of his apartment with relative ease.
MIAMI, FL—While looking up at a mid-rise building, retired vigilante Al Granger, 68, quietly smiled to himself as he remembered the thrill of using ...
