EL PASO, TX—Residents of this border town have accepted the offer from the Taco Bell Corporation to seal off the Mexican side of the ...

MOBILE, AL—A man who was caught on tape brutally hacking 17 Blockbuster patrons to death with a pickaxe was freed of all charges for ...

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Citizens were outraged today when local painter Ken Tranning dared to use a non-earth tone in his latest Southwestern painting.

WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has still not gathered the will to inform senators from the U.S. Virgin Islands, Oscar Vleck and Elizabeth Pendleton, that they ...

HELENA, MT—Local magician The Amazing Andy's "trade secrets" were revealed yesterday, when his "disappeared" wife was found chopped up into little pieces in ...

WATERTOWN, MA—Short-tempered physics teacher Mr. Seppa promised he would demonstrate the effects of gravity and momentum to the next student who spoke out of ...

SAN ANDREAS, CA—A local store specializing in fine china and delicate shelving was, for the 18th time this year, forced to re-order its entire ...

WIDOWER'S HOLLOW, KY—The unexplained deaths of a henhouse full of white chickens has led to speculation among the largely uneducated local populace of ...

CUCAMONGA, CA—The city's mayor hosted those of Walla Walla, Kalamazoo, and Flin Flon, Manitoba, in a closed-door session Monday to discuss media portrayal ...

HOBSON, MO—Teenagers failed in their attempts to "freak out" residents of this small town by dressing in loud outlandish clothing and ended up resorting ...

DENVER, CO—Panic shot through the Mile High City when it was discovered that, despite the best efforts of nearly two decades of Colorado legislators ...

ST. PAUL, MN—A child in Minnesota is 1,217 times more likely to feel out-of-place for not being of Norwegian ancestry than a child ...

RALEIGH-DURHAM, NC—A classic 1975 Excalibur Phaeton, abandoned after having slid into a mudbank and now decades later set permanently in the hardened stone-like ground ...

ANVIK, AK—Race officials offered their sincerest apologies this week and promised that, in the future, the annual Anvik dog-sled race would not take place ...

AUSTIN, TX—Coworkers Stacey Diller and Catherine Chase went out to dinner last night, ate an expensive meal, drank several glasses of wine, and then ...

PATTERSON, GA—This year’s “Holiday Festival Of Lights” display resulted in five deaths by electrocution, down significantly from last year’s 11.

SMALLVILLE, KS—Scientists at Luthorcorp remain unable to explain local resident Clark Kent, a "teenage" boy who, in defiance of all the laws of science ...

MOLINE, IL—In a landmark interview, whistleblower and former Nabisco chemist Brian Thronson told 60 Minutes this week that Oreo cookies are nothing more than ...

KING GEORGE COUNTY, VA—A life-size statue of former American president James Madison was unveiled this week before being ceremoniously spray-painted and defaced to honor ...

FARGO, ND—Nels Funderburke was observed to be in full compliance with local regulation I-4473 Monday when, as the last person to leave the state ...