WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Thursday by the U.S. Census Bureau, by the year 2043, the majority of the American population will ...

LOS ANGELES—In an exclusive preview to fans gathered in Los Angeles this week for the E3 gaming conference, Microsoft officials reportedly unveiled an ultra-realistic ...

WASHINGTON—According to a report out today, 250 million Americans are still scrambling to find someone to appear on their podcasts this week, as the ...

FORT MEADE, MD—Members of the National Security Agency told reporters yesterday that if they thought the electronic surveillance program known as PRISM invaded the ...

LOS ANGELES—Citing a dire need for additional reshoots, visibly panicked officials at Warner Bros. studios announced Wednesday that they had decided to delay the ...

WASHINGTON—Following reports Sunday that the source of the leaked National Security Agency surveillance practices is 29-year-old government contractor Edward Snowden, polls revealed today that ...

PASADENA, CA—A local 46-year-old man expressed confusion and disappointment Wednesday after watching what he described as a “really weird” pornographic movie that featured no ...

OMAHA, NE—Calling Edward Snowden both a “TRUE PATRIOT” and an “AMERICAN HERO,” Tony Dewitt, 32, reportedly voiced his unflinching support for the NSA whistleblower ...

VIOLA, NY—After a government whistleblower revealed last week that the U.S. National Security Agency is collecting phone records and other data as part ...

ITHACA, NY—Though he now enjoys a successful career as one of the nation’s foremost bird experts, distinguished ornithologist Timothy Washburn admitted to reporters ...

NEW YORK—According to critics, the new Liberace biopic Behind The Candelabra, which premiered on HBO last month, reveals that the famed musician and performer ...

CALIFORNIA, PA—Students, faculty, and attendees at California University of Pennsylvania’s commencement ceremony stood and cheered Sunday as 93-year-old Esther Goodwyn, a fuckup who ...

CHICAGO—Expressing a deep sense of delight and amusement at the corporation’s recently reported $279 million first-quarter loss, the ghost of Alvah C.

SANTA FE, NM—In yet another stunning twist that has reportedly shocked fans and law enforcement officials alike, fantasy author George R.R.

WASHINGTON—An alarming new labor report released just moments ago has concluded that you should stop reading this article right now and get the fuck ...

BETHESDA, MD—While reviewing his work on a new project, officials at defense contractor Lockheed Martin told engineer Erik Whitaker that it was looking pretty ...

SAVANNAH, GA—Expanding a retail line that already includes kitchen supplies, bakeware, and cookbooks, television personality and restaurateur Paula Deen today introduced Deen Farms Butter ...

HOUSTON—Pointing to the group’s radically divergent behaviors and customs, employees at local software firm Pendant Systems confirmed Friday that a strange new culture ...

MEDFORD, OR—While calculating his budget Wednesday, Ben Hollis, a 30-year-old man, carefully factored in the birthday money he’ll receive next month as a ...

PASADENA, CA­—Nearly a year after Curiosity’s triumphant Mars landing, scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced today that the NASA rover is preparing ...