News in Brief

Life Unfair

News in Brief ISSUE 31•16 Apr 30, 1997
EARTH—For the 50 billionth consecutive week since its inception, life was revealed to be unfair Monday. Death and suffering continued to be dispersed randomly ...

Viewer Outraged

News in Brief ISSUE 31•15 Apr 23, 1997
SHREVEPORT, LA—Longtime television viewer Abraham Frank, 78, expressed outrage Tuesday over a Married With Children episode in which a swimsuit beauty pageant featured many ...

Area Man Likes Food

News in Brief ISSUE 31•14 Apr 16, 1997
FLUSHING, NY—In a surprise announcement, local cab driver Kevin Reilly, 33, confirmed Monday that he likes food. "I enjoy meats, dairy products, grains, fruits ...