BOSTON—Hours after arriving at an empty office this morning, local man and R&G Insurance Guaranty sales associate Joel Wyner told reporters that he ...

COLUMBUS, OH—According to staff at Dusty’s Kitchen, the local restaurant’s extreme burger challenge, formerly described as “an insurmountable mountain of beef and ...

WASHINGTON—Standing before members of the White House Press Corps Wednesday afternoon as aides lowered a bunch of grapes into his mouth, President Obama encouraged ...

PHILADELPHIA—Samantha Curtis, a 29-year-old sales clerk who has reportedly cracked three separate iPhone screens over the years, is due to give birth to a ...

VISTA, CA—Following the devastating tornado in Oklahoma this week that killed dozens of residents and displaced many more, U.S.

DULUTH, MN—Generously bestowing the kind of wisdom that only comes with age, worldly and venerable 27-year-old Matthew Owen took the time last night to ...

OKLAHOMA CITY—In the wake of yesterday’s devastating tornado that has so far left 24 dead and hundreds injured in the Oklahoma City area ...

NORFOLK, VA—Though she hasn’t spoken with him since they were both employees of American Mutual Insurance back in 2008, local woman Rebecca Pittman ...

WASHINGTON—Saying that those were definitely some good times, a reflective President Obama told reporters Friday that the current scandals plaguing his administration have made ...

WASHINGTON—Reacting to the number of major scandals currently plaguing the White House, a somewhat confused American populace told reporters Friday that yeah, sure, they ...

This week, President Barack Obama and his administration have come under fire from political opponents seeking an explanation for the White House’s alleged complicity ...

NEW YORK—According to a report released Tuesday by the Brookings Institution, the lone non-telepathic individual living in the world today is still completely unaware ...



BRISTOL, CT—Approaching the second half of her twenties with a college degree, a full-time job, and a wide circle of friends, local woman Amanda ...

WHITEHALL, NY—Claiming that the dilapidated, sun-bleached recreational facility had been on its last legs for years, local residents told reporters Monday that this has ...

CAMBRIDGE, UNITED KINGDOM—Saying that the species knew it had to start fucking and start fucking fast, officials from the International Union for Conservation of ...

NEW YORK—According to a new study published Wednesday in The American Educational Research Journal, an overwhelming majority of recent college graduates are completely unprepared ...

WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Tuesday by the Federal Aviation Administration, Spirit Airlines, the American low-cost air carrier, is the absolute fucking worst ...

WASHINGTON—Claiming that nothing about the city really evokes the strong sense of pride and endurance that typically serves as a source of strength in ...

NEW YORK—Stressing that “continuously adapting to new technology is a must,” famed writer, actor, and director Woody Allen confirmed Thursday that he remains incredibly ...

MINNEAPOLIS—Setting his sights on a point five minutes into the future, snooze button time traveler Brent Conley, 31, engaged the launch initiation switch on ...