The pardon assures that Libby will not face any more repercussions for his role in the Valerie Plame scandal or be eaten on Thanksgiving.
At a press conference today, the AGU announced it will not even acknowledge Mike Greenman until he begins dressing better and loses some weight.
Rescue crews have been working day and night to free the former first lady, who has been unable to extricate herself from the sand.
As controversy swirls around thoroughbred Ship's Captain, the horse's trainer says people should focus on the horse's abilities, not its sexuality.
Experts advise that anyone venturing outdoors should be on the lookout for extremely crunchy leaves and winds as high as 12 mph.
Chinese gathered to see Zhang Tong, the first Chinese man to go into space without being chained inside the rocket.
The sudden drop in demand for "Buck Fush" T-shirts and "Hail to the Chimp" posters could leave millions unemployed.
Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.
Residents took part in rituals like picking through the charred remains of their homes and feigning shock that this could happen to them.
The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.
The spokesdrone will field questions deemed too dangerous for a human press secretary, whose career could be irreparably damaged by answering them.
Organizations hope to make youth see importance of getting prime parking spaces or a new desk lamp.
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
Pausing only to eat, the West Highland white terrier yips and yelps 24 hours a day, according to neighbors.
The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.
Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.
Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.
A recent survey of children found that they are not in favor of increased doctor visits and vaccinations.
High school theater's brightest stars gathered last night to see who would take home the coveted award for Most Awkward Kiss.
After years of experiments and tens of millions of dollars, scientists have finally created a sheep that thinks and acts like a goat.