Hospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped off a sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can ...
The Department Of Transportation unveiled a new mandatory safety system designed to protect American drivers by keeping Nick Nolte off the road.
The United States gave billions of dollars in aid to the wealthy European principality of Andorra, which it mistakenly assumed was a poor African country.
Websites like Match.com allow sad, lonely women all over the country to invite pain and rejection into their lives with just a few clicks ...
Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area.
Mitt Romney's candidacy took a major hit following the discovery of statements he made a decade ago that imply he isn’t sickened by ...
A shocking new study finds U.S. children lag far behind their international peers in subjects like rifle assembly and mine defusing.
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.
The State Department releases details of Rice's upcoming diplomatic journey.
A professional wrestling "fan" has written a shocking new book that claims wrestling fans are actually paid actors.
As Queen Elizabeth II becomes the oldest reigning monarch in British history, we take a look at some of her most significant waving moments.
UN officials confirmed that Hotel Rwanda star Don Cheadle funded the genocide in Darfur for the purpose of starring in a film about the tragedy.
In this special feature, troops overseas talk about things that make the season special, like modular tactical vests and M40 field protective masks.
271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security.
The nation’s poor get to experience true Christmas spirit, while the wealthy, burdened by shopping and party obligations, are left out in the cold.
According to a new survey, whether a candidate seems like they could take a sucker punch in a drunken brawl is extremely important to voters.
Thanksgiving is a time for far-flung family members to reunite with each other and share in holiday cheer at the airport.
In this Onion News Network special feature, our soldiers stationed abroad remind us there's still a war going on.
Onion News Network anchor Brandon Armstrong argues passionately for the existence of flying cars.
Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row.