Mitt Romney's candidacy took a major hit following the discovery of statements he made a decade ago that imply he isn’t sickened by ...
A shocking new study finds U.S. children lag far behind their international peers in subjects like rifle assembly and mine defusing.
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.
The State Department releases details of Rice's upcoming diplomatic journey.
A professional wrestling "fan" has written a shocking new book that claims wrestling fans are actually paid actors.
As Queen Elizabeth II becomes the oldest reigning monarch in British history, we take a look at some of her most significant waving moments.
UN officials confirmed that Hotel Rwanda star Don Cheadle funded the genocide in Darfur for the purpose of starring in a film about the tragedy.
In this special feature, troops overseas talk about things that make the season special, like modular tactical vests and M40 field protective masks.
271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security.
The nation’s poor get to experience true Christmas spirit, while the wealthy, burdened by shopping and party obligations, are left out in the cold.
According to a new survey, whether a candidate seems like they could take a sucker punch in a drunken brawl is extremely important to voters.
Thanksgiving is a time for far-flung family members to reunite with each other and share in holiday cheer at the airport.
In this Onion News Network special feature, our soldiers stationed abroad remind us there's still a war going on.
Onion News Network anchor Brandon Armstrong argues passionately for the existence of flying cars.
Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row.
Officials in California dedicated the Folsom Dam Memorial, which will honor the nearby residents that will die when the faulty dam fails.
'Cum Inside' star Jennica St. Foxx is receiving heavy criticism for using a racial slur in her latest film.
The Onion News Network’s Brandon Armstrong responds to viewers’ emails, texts, and chats--no matter how inane.
A group of country music's biggest stars have a message for terrorists: you can't hurt America by blowing up New York City.
The CEO of L.L. Bean pleads with black leaders to forgive his company for whatever it's done to cause this decades-long boycott.