Roman Numeral For 17 Might As Well Be Alien Hieroglyph Far As Area Man Can Tell

Family Combines Intellectual Resources To Determine What Else Actor Has Been In

Sardinian Starting Up Again With The Corsican Jokes

Olive Garden Waitress Covered In Sauce Sprayed From Talking Customers' Mouths

Another Screaming Altar Boy Tossed Into Sistine Chapel Oven To Indicate No New Pope

Man Can Only Speculate Why Coworker Looking At Jada Pinkett Smith's Wikipedia Page

Sitcom Character Turns On Bedside Lamp Before Answering Phone

Executive Begins, Ends Every Sentence With 'Going Forward'

Date Will Also Have The 10-Pound Burger Challenge

'Holy Shit, Oz The Great And Powerful Comes Out In Two Days' Replaces 'Hello' As Standard Greeting

Mutilated Paper Clip Bent Back Into Grotesque Approximation Of Former Shape

Best Friends Divorce

White-Collar Criminal Reintroduced To High Society

Week Bad

Coworker Hasn't Exhaled Silently In 5 Months

Obese Woman Puts Dog On Diet

Man Kicks Record-High 27 Blankets Off Him In One Night

Area Man BCCs Psychiatrist On Every Email He Sends

Paul McCartney To Headline Bonnaroo

Man Bumps Into Hyperlink He Turned Purple Three Years Ago