After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident.
Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet ...
Unwilling to go down without a fight, Honkers the Canada Goose took 37 people with him after getting sucked into an Airbus A319 engine.
Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare.
Spring break marked the death of First Semester Shelby Dicks and the birth of Second Semester Shelby Diques.
An unopened one-gallon jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise quietly expired last week.
Rosa Maria Torres, 81, died peacefully in bed surrounded by fat grandkids.
Steven Geary passed away Tuesday evening surrounded by friends, family, and one secret enemy.