After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident. The other driver should know not to feel too terrible about the whole thing.

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•17 • Apr 26, 2012

After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident.

Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet companies. Guy still died.

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•17 • Apr 17, 2012

Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet ...

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•12 • Mar 25, 2012

Unwilling to go down without a fight, Honkers the Canada Goose took 37 people with him after getting sucked into an Airbus A319 engine.

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•12 • Mar 22, 2012

Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare.

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•12 • Mar 20, 2012

Spring break marked the death of First Semester Shelby Dicks and the birth of Second Semester Shelby Diques.

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•05 • Feb 2, 2012

An unopened one-gallon jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise quietly expired last week.

Obituaries • ISSUE 48•05 • Jan 31, 2012

Rosa Maria Torres, 81, died peacefully in bed surrounded by fat grandkids.

Obituaries • ISSUE 47•46 • Nov 15, 2011

Steven Geary passed away Tuesday evening surrounded by friends, family, and one secret enemy.