Shelby warns viewers they need a place to hold suspicious-looking characters the police are too lazy to arrest.
Video: Onion News Network On IFC
The Onion News Network Special Investigative Undercover Response Team reports on whether the nation's waitresses are just being friendly.
"Sex With A B-List Celebrity" is just one of several proposals being proposed as the dead American Dream's replacement.
FactZone obtains an audio recording of military prosecutors cross-examining the disturbingly emotionless drone.
Military officials make an example of the TR425 Predator Drone which fired on an Afghan wedding last September.
Democrats finally admitted they may need help to work out their issues.
Autistic reporter Michael Falk says the stainless steel CometLiner 2 car was lucky enough to escape unharmed from its collision with a man.
The Health and Human Services says that the country's Shawnas are "tan enough."
After a cyber attack brings the internet to a halt, Americans must physically go outside to tell people how much they love BBQ or what ...
The last vestige of the American Dream slipped away as a Pennington, IL resident quietly laid aside his hope of owning a bar & grill.
The Damaged Women's Coalition angrily marched on the capitol this afternoon before returning later drunk and crying.
The nation is still reeling from accident at Sony Pictures which unleashed dozens of films starring the irritating actress on an unsuspecting public.
While frustrated parents may feel driven to violently shake their video game-playing grown children who still live at home, it can have serious medical consequences.
Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts, talking to the high school sophomore who has become a conservative hero for refusing to learn his Spanish ...
The CIA's invention of Facebook has saved the government millions of dollars.
Actor Ben Stiller urges parents with adult kids still living at home to think twice before shaking their manchildren in frustration.
The most reliable caged Americans in cable news give their trenchant, homespun insight into current events.
Mike Brant has become a favorite among Republicans for his complete apathy towards government and overt unwillingness to serve.
WONN5 reports that hundreds turned out to support Pennington's single gay resident Paul Webster.
Doctors in the state will now be able to act like they've just given a woman an abortion and send her on her way.