Mission specialist Robert Barrett first became suspicious when he noticed most of his tasks involved measuring his waist and eating cookie dough.

Before a new program to combat crystal meth can be put into place, Congress has to make sure it has a really awesome name

White House Press Secretary Debra Browning reminds reporters that there were 26 other camps that the U.S. successfully closed on time.

Two astronauts on the International Space Station display courage, honor, and squeaky voices as they struggle to patch a deadly helium leak.

Rep. William Cummings (D-VA) defends his use of the slang word "pronk" as a legitimate catchphrase.

The FDA is urging all Americans in possession of flaky, delicious pot pies to turn them in to FDA headquarters as soon as possible.

Press Secretary Ted Barrett deflects questions about the gruesome car wreck that killed his wife hours ago in order to focus on the President's ...

A congressional committee discussing Iraq War casualty levels approves of the tasty chips and salsa Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) brought to the hearing.

Congressman Porter (R-IN) urges immediate action against the gang members that have infiltrated our neighborhoods, our schools, and even the Capitol.

Congressman Gary Nelson has an economic plan to raise his family's standard of living.

Rep. Gelinas proposes an educational bill to increase the number of young people he meets in under-13 chat rooms.

Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).

If you've misplaced something, the National Department of Lost and Found is the place to turn.

U.S. Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) has a plan to reduce skull fucking levels in America by 5 to 7 percent.

Rep. Juliana Hardy's resolution would provide a well-deserved night on the town for her and best friend Rep. Lisa Jean Conroy.

If you've lost something, the U.S. Dept. of Lost and Found can help you find it. This week's featured items: a flip ...

Congressman Robert Ingersol (R-SC) reads detailed report in the House of Representatives on his recent killing of a hobo.

Have you lost something? The U.S. Department of Lost and Found helps Americans find their misplaced possessions.