Point/Counterpoint

As Long As You're Smiling, Nothing Can Get You Down vs. This Shelter For Homeless AIDS Sufferers Has Been Defunded; Please Gather Your Things

ISSUE 47•50 ISSUE 47•34 | 08.23.11 | Point/Counterpoint

Point As Long As You're Smiling, Nothing Can Get You Down Now and again we all find ourselves feeling a little bit "blue." That's just life, after all. But remember, without the bad times, how would we learn to appreciate the good? Look hard en... more»
Part Of Me Wants To See This Acrobat Fall To His Death vs. Part Of Me Wants To See That Guy In The Third Row Have A Heart Attack In Front Of His Family

ISSUE 47•22 | 05.31.11 | Point/Counterpoint

I know this is going to sound sick and twisted—there is a small part of me that wants to see him slip and plummet nine stories to his death. more»
If I See Doug, I'm Going To Kick His Ass vs. Apparently Doug Is A Better Fighter Than I Thought

ISSUE 47•19 | 05.12.11 | Point/Counterpoint

That's it. Doug thinks he can talk shit behind my back and get away with it? Oh, no, my friend, that's not gonna fly with me. more»
Sustainable Energy Solutions Are The Key To Our Country's Economic Future vs. Christ, Ted, Is That You? It's Four In The Morning

ISSUE 47•13 | 03.29.11 | Point/Counterpoint

Point Sustainable Energy Solutions Are The Key To Our Country's Economic Future Time and time again, the United States finds itself on the brink of economic disaster, and all because we have tethered ourselves to an unstable energy source: oil. This reli... more»
When I'm Gone, They'll All Be Sorry vs. Didn't He Kill Himself Last Year?

ISSUE 46•45 | 11.11.10 | Point/Counterpoint

Point When I'm Gone, They'll All Be Sorry I'll show them. I'll show everybody. They may not appreciate me now, but mark my words, when I'm dead and buried they'll be sorry. Oh, the deep, deep sorrow they will all feel, wishing they could bring me back, r... more»
My Sister Actually Went To School With Ryan Reynolds' Brother vs. Cool, I Like You More As A Person Now

ISSUE 46•37 | 09.16.10 | Point/Counterpoint

Point My Sister Actually Went To School With Ryan Reynolds' Brother You know, it's funny that you mention Ryan Reynolds, because my sister actually went to the same college as Ryan Reynolds' brother. Yeah, my sister Stephanie. You've met her. Remember, a... more»
My Dad Is A Army Guy vs. I Am A Army Guy

ISSUE 46•30 | 07.27.10 | Point/Counterpoint

My name is Brian but my dad's name is Sgt. Carrelson and he's a Army guy! He has lots of different guns he shoots with his friends in Iraq and they drive tanks too. more»
Maple Syrup Is An Excellent Way To Enhance The Flavor Of Pancakes And Waffles vs. I Thought We Were Going To Talk About The Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons

ISSUE 46•12 | 03.25.10 | Point/Counterpoint

Point Maple Syrup Is An Excellent Way To Enhance The Flavor Of Pancakes And Waffles If there's one thing that almost anyone can agree on, it's that a good, thick maple syrup makes a great addition to any pancake or waffle breakfast. The experience of pok... more»
Duh…I'm Stupid! vs. No! That's Not Me!

ISSUE 45•25 | 06.16.09 | Point/Counterpoint

Hey, everybody! I'm Rick Mahoney and I am so stupid. I'm the dumbest person on the planet. Durr, durrr, my brain is so tiny and small, I can't... more»
The Israeli Conflict Is Far Too Nuanced And Complex To Sum Up In One Op-Ed/Not If You Hate Jews!

ISSUE 45•05 | 01.28.09 | Point/Counterpoint

For as long as I can remember, the Israelis and Palestinians have been in conflict. And for as long as I can remember, there have been myriad... more»
Point/Counterpoint: Gov. Palin Has No Experience vs. Please Keep Your Voice Down, My Poor Retarded Child Is Sleeping

ISSUE 44•39 | 09.24.08 | Point/Counterpoint

There may be no better word to describe John McCain's vice presidential pick than "ridiculous." After months of criticizing Sen. Obama... more»
Point/Counterpoint: Party! vs. Whoo! Party!

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.27.08 | Point/Counterpoint

Party! Yeah, man! All right! Can you believe this?! Damn! Dude! Party! What's that? Huh? I can't understand you over the noise... more»
You're Never Too Old For Laser Tag vs. Sir, If You're Not Accompanying A Minor I'm Going To Have To Ask You To Leave

ISSUE 44•30 | 07.23.08 | Point/Counterpoint

When I walk into the office on Monday, the guys always ask me what I did over the weekend, and my answer is always the same: I played laser tag!... more»
I Know It's Crazy, But Some Days I Feel Like Everybody Is Out To Get Me vs. Our Mission Has Been Compromised! Abort!

ISSUE 44•25 | 06.18.08 | Point/Counterpoint

Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? I sure have. When everything is falling apart and you just can't get ahead, it's like... more»
Cats Are Better Than Dogs

ISSUE 43•45 | 11.07.07 | Point/Counterpoint

I've always been a fan of felines. As far as pets go, you can't beat them! I have three myself, and I couldn't adore them more. I don't care what... more»
Point/Counterpoint: We Have A Unique Opportunity To Change The World

ISSUE 43•25 | 06.20.07 | Point/Counterpoint

When I sat down to write this speech, I thought a lot about what I had learned over the past four years. On the first day of classes, we were 106... more»
This Man Obviously Has Substance Abuse Problems And No Capacity To Love vs. But You Love Him!

ISSUE 43•07 | 02.14.07 | Point/Counterpoint

It is time to face facts: Your boyfriend has nothing to offer you. He is a mean drunk, a liar, a cheater, and an emotional drain. He contributes... more»
Help! Sandal Season Is Here, And My Feet Are A Mess vs. Help! I'm Trapped In A Burning Bus

ISSUE 41•28 | 07.13.05 | Point/Counterpoint

Help! Sandal season is here, and my feet are a complete mess! I've got rough heels, ugly calluses, and ragged cuticles. Winter weather really did some serious damage to my feet. Oh, God, please, will somebody please tell me how to get these tootsies back in step for the beach? Somebody call 911! They're a complete disaster! more»
Darling, I Will Give You The Moon And The Stars vs. Giving Me The Moon And Stars Would Have Disastrous Effects On Our Galaxy

ISSUE 41•06 | 02.09.05 | Point/Counterpoint

Dearest Sally, I can no longer hide what I've been feeling since the day you borrowed my pen at Kampus Koffee. If I don't let my emotions out, I'll burst with the sheer intensity of longing to be by your side. All day, every day, I think of nothing but you. I would follow you to the ends of the earth, to the bottom of the deepest sea, or live with you at the top of the highest mountain. You are everything to me, and without you, I am just an insignificant speck in an uncaring universe. Say you'll be mine, and I'll give you the clouds, the sun, the rain, the sky—I will give you the whole world. more»
Hug Me! vs. No, Hug Me!

ISSUE 40•52 | 12.29.04 | Point/Counterpoint

Hug me! I am so cute and furry! I will crawl all over you and lick your face. You can hold me, and I will nuzzle my nose against you. Arf! You can pet my fuzzy coat. My fur is thick, and I'm roly-poly and have adorable floppy ears. I'm not scrawny and bony like a duck. You can rub my tummy-wummy! more»
I Wish My Life Was Better vs. Do You Wish Your Life Was Better?

ISSUE 40•37 | 09.15.04 | Point/Counterpoint

I spend a lot of time sitting around, hoping that something will drop out of the sky and make my life better. I talk about it all the time. My friends have heard me say it, my family has heard me say it, and my ex-girlfriends have heard me say it. I really believe I deserve more than what I have, but whenever I think about how hard it is to turn things around, I end up feeling so hopeless. I'm stuck in a rut, but what can I do about it? more»
Killing Wheelchair-Bound People With Missiles Is Justifiable If They're Terrorists vs. Killing Wheelchair-Bound People

ISSUE 40•19 | 05.12.04 | Point/Counterpoint

The global balance of power has changed dramatically in the last two decades. In the past, great armies and great industrial capabilities were needed to threaten strong nations. Now, shadowy networks of individuals can cause great suffering for the cost of a homemade explosive. To effectively counter this new threat, we must make use of every tool in our arsenal—military power, homeland defense, law enforcement, intelligence, and short-range helicopter-mounted missiles to pick off elderly, wheelchair-bound terrorists one at a time. more»
Pete's An Asshole vs. Aw, C'mon, Pete's An All-Right Guy

ISSUE 39•42 | 10.29.03 | Point/Counterpoint

Look, man, I know that he's your friend and all, and I guess you've known him for a long time, so I hope you don't get too pissed off at me about this, but I think your friend Pete is a total asshole. Seriously, why you even put up with that guy is beyond me. more»
This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No it won't

ISSUE 43•12 ISSUE 39•11 | 03.26.03 | Point/Counterpoint

George W. Bush may think that a war against Iraq is the solution to our problems, but the reality is, it will only serve to create far more. more»
No Blood For Oil vs. Exactly How Much Oil Are We Talking About?

ISSUE 47•52 ISSUE 43•12 ISSUE 39•06 | 02.19.03 | Point/Counterpoint

Contrary to what he would have you believe, President Bush's plans to invade Iraq have nothing to do with such high-minded goals as liberating the Iraqi people or saving the world from terrorism. His "principled" stand is actually just a thinly veiled attempt to gain control of the oil-rich Middle East at the cost of human lives. It is time for the people of the United States to rise up and say, "No blood for oil!" more»
You Know, There Are Some Excellent Red Wines Coming Out Of Argentina vs. I Hate You, I Hate You, I Hate You

ISSUE 38•37 | 10.09.02 | Point/Counterpoint

So, what do you think of the wine? To be honest, I thought it was a little meek. Passable, but meek. Did you happen to catch what kind it was? Obviously, it's a cabernet, but I can't quite put my finger on the vineyard. Wherever it's from, it's certainly not the best I've had. more»
Help! Sandal Season Is Here, And My Feet Are A Mess vs. Help! I'm Trapped In A Burning Bus

ISSUE 38•20 | 05.29.02 | Point/Counterpoint

Help! Sandal season is here, and my feet are a complete mess! I've got rough heels, ugly calluses, and ragged cuticles. Winter weather really did some serious damage to my feet. Oh, God, please, will somebody please tell me how to get these tootsies back in step for the beach? Somebody call 911! They're a complete disaster! more»
According To The Economist, NASA Is An Industrial Subsidy In Disguise vs. Oooh, Look At Me, I Read The Economist!

ISSUE 38•15 | 04.24.02 | Point/Counterpoint

I grew up with the romantic notion that NASA is not merely a government agency, but an organization dedicated to bravely propelling the human race forward into a glorious future of scientific advancement and discovery. But after reading a recent article in The Economist, I have no choice but to question that idealistic view. more»
Youth Is Wasted On The Young vs. Medication Is Wasted On The Old

ISSUE 38•08 | 03.06.02 | Point/Counterpoint

They say hindsight is 20/20 and, boy, are they right. Young people fritter away the gifts of youth, wasting their time on silly video games and whatnot. Don't they understand how important it is to make the most of your life while you're still young? more»
Outdoor Advertising Is A Blight On Our Society vs. I Just Wanted To Tell The Nice People About The Yogurt

ISSUE 37•35 | 10.03.01 | Point/Counterpoint

"The land of the free and the home of the brave"? More like the land of the Stay Free maxipad and the home of the Whopper. America may be blessed with purple mountain majesties, but these days, odds are pretty good that those majestic purple mountains are blocked by a giant, ugly billboard for Diet Coke. more»

Point/Counterpoint

As Long As You're Smiling, Nothing Can Get You Down vs. This Shelter For Homeless AIDS Sufferers Has Been Defunded; Please Gather Your Things

Part Of Me Wants To See This Acrobat Fall To His Death vs. Part Of Me Wants To See That Guy In The Third Row Have A Heart Attack In Front Of His Family

If I See Doug, I'm Going To Kick His Ass vs. Apparently Doug Is A Better Fighter Than I Thought

Sustainable Energy Solutions Are The Key To Our Country's Economic Future vs. Christ, Ted, Is That You? It's Four In The Morning

When I'm Gone, They'll All Be Sorry vs. Didn't He Kill Himself Last Year?

My Sister Actually Went To School With Ryan Reynolds' Brother vs. Cool, I Like You More As A Person Now

My Dad Is A Army Guy vs. I Am A Army Guy

Maple Syrup Is An Excellent Way To Enhance The Flavor Of Pancakes And Waffles vs. I Thought We Were Going To Talk About The Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons

Duh…I'm Stupid! vs. No! That's Not Me!

The Israeli Conflict Is Far Too Nuanced And Complex To Sum Up In One Op-Ed/Not If You Hate Jews!

Point/Counterpoint: Gov. Palin Has No Experience vs. Please Keep Your Voice Down, My Poor Retarded Child Is Sleeping

Point/Counterpoint: Party! vs. Whoo! Party!

You're Never Too Old For Laser Tag vs. Sir, If You're Not Accompanying A Minor I'm Going To Have To Ask You To Leave

I Know It's Crazy, But Some Days I Feel Like Everybody Is Out To Get Me vs. Our Mission Has Been Compromised! Abort!

Cats Are Better Than Dogs

Point/Counterpoint: We Have A Unique Opportunity To Change The World

This Man Obviously Has Substance Abuse Problems And No Capacity To Love vs. But You Love Him!

Help! Sandal Season Is Here, And My Feet Are A Mess vs. Help! I'm Trapped In A Burning Bus

Darling, I Will Give You The Moon And The Stars vs. Giving Me The Moon And Stars Would Have Disastrous Effects On Our Galaxy

Hug Me! vs. No, Hug Me!

I Wish My Life Was Better vs. Do You Wish Your Life Was Better?

Killing Wheelchair-Bound People With Missiles Is Justifiable If They're Terrorists vs. Killing Wheelchair-Bound People

Pete's An Asshole vs. Aw, C'mon, Pete's An All-Right Guy

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No it won't

No Blood For Oil vs. Exactly How Much Oil Are We Talking About?

You Know, There Are Some Excellent Red Wines Coming Out Of Argentina vs. I Hate You, I Hate You, I Hate You

Help! Sandal Season Is Here, And My Feet Are A Mess vs. Help! I'm Trapped In A Burning Bus

According To The Economist, NASA Is An Industrial Subsidy In Disguise vs. Oooh, Look At Me, I Read The Economist!

Youth Is Wasted On The Young vs. Medication Is Wasted On The Old

Outdoor Advertising Is A Blight On Our Society vs. I Just Wanted To Tell The Nice People About The Yogurt

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