Quote

Population Growth

Quote ISSUE 48•04 Jan 26, 2012
"I'm just going to level with you—the earth's carrying capacity will no longer be able to keep up with population growth, and ...

Romneymania

Quote ISSUE 48•04 Jan 25, 2012
"The raw energy and enthusiasm Mitt Romney stirs inside people is like nothing I've ever seen." - Youngstown, OH auto mechanic Chris Ritenour

Uncle Joe

Quote ISSUE 48•04 Jan 24, 2012
 "I'll teach you the hot licks and killer riffs you need to get 'em wet where it counts." - Vice President Biden

North Korea

Quote ISSUE 48•03 Jan 24, 2012
"Approximately 30,000 children leapt through the air with shiny metallic streamers, while the coordinated undulations of T-shirted adults simulated a giant North Korean flag ...

Ron Paul

Quote ISSUE 48•04 Jan 23, 2012
"He's not afraid to give Americans no-nonsense straight talk about his completely delusional fantasy world.

Clam Juice

Quote Jan 20, 2012
"There are clear health benefits to drinking room-temperature clam juice that still has bits of the shell floating around in it."

Right v. Wrong

Quote ISSUE 48•03 Jan 18, 2012
"We firmly believe that malice, dishonesty, and injustice were the framers' original intent," - Justice Scalia

Zooloist

Quote ISSUE 47•48 Dec 1, 2011
"This profound disturbance could threaten the stability of entire ecosystems" - Zoologist Rebecca Clattenburg.

Obama Commercial

Quote Sep 7, 2011
"Glico Pretz Ham & Cheese is a fine product, a delicious product, and one that I fully endorse for snacking morning, afternoon, and night." - President Obama

Comic Sans

Quote Aug 24, 2011
"It turned out that when people read Comic Sans, the same areas in the brain light up as when they view fat people or penguins."

Jerk Off

Quote Aug 19, 2011
"I just want you to know, right off the bat, that I'm cool with you jerking off when I'm around."

Apocalypse

Quote Aug 17, 2011
"According to our data, the total collapse of all human civilization occurred on or around April 3, 2008."

Holder Visa

Quote Aug 16, 2011
"The actions of the Visa crime ring amount to nothing less than mass extortion," Attorney General Holder