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The Week In Pictures – Week Of May 22, 2017

Whippoorwill Has Had Same 3-Note Song Stuck In Head For Entire Life

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‘I’m Just Here To Win Football Games,’ Says 22-Year-Old Draft Pick Who Will Get Everyone Fired

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Historians Discover Thomas Jefferson May Have Secretly Fathered Multiple Other Countries

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Glimpse Of Father’s Toenails Offers Boy Petrifying Vision Of Future

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Crate & Barrel Introduces Line Of Disgusting Couches You Can Put On Your Porch

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FBI Declassifies J. Edgar Hoover’s Extensive File On The Munster Family

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

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Firebrand John McCain Demands Immediate Investigation Into Why He Remaining Complicit

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Slight Breeze A Major Factor In Wiffle Ball Game

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Laptop Really Getting Off From Having Both USB Ports Stuffed

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CC Sabathia Chowing Down On Homemade Marinara Baseball Sub

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Nation Allows Itself 5 Minutes To Believe This All Going To Be Over Soon

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Sean Spicer Quietly Puts Painting Back Over Unfinished Escape Tunnel

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Crowd Shocked After Unhinged Trump Dangles Baby From Truman Balcony

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Kicking, Screaming Warren Buffett Dragged From Caesars Palace After Losing Everything At Roulette Wheel

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Boss Thinks Female Employee Might Be Ready To Handle Job She’s Been Doing For Past 2 Years

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Zales Introduces New Line Of Casual Dating Diamond Rings

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Man Walks In On Roommate In Kitchen Having Way With His Leftovers

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Trump Trying To Figure Out How To Unsubscribe From Boring National Security Email List

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Row Of Dusty PlayStation 2 Games Continues Reign At Top Of Book Shelf

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Hundreds Of Miniature Sean Hannitys Burst From Roger Ailes’ Corpse

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DNC Chair Tracks Down Biden In Everglades Tossing Whole Chickens To Gators

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Mom Sent On Fact-Finding Mission To Read What Parking Sign Down Street Says

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Clinton Receives 400,000 Honorary Degrees For College Commencement Speech

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Tick Scientists Confirm 2017 Summer Will Be Best On Record

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Deep Blue Quietly Celebrates 10th Anniversary With Garry Kasparov’s Ex-Wife

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Report: Morbid Curiosity Now Accounts For 79% Of Nation’s Snack Food Purchases

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