MIAMI—As the Chicago Bulls prepare to face the Miami Heat in what is a must-win playoff elimination game for Chicago, sources around the world ...

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—During the trophy presentation at this year’s Players Championship, tournament winner Tiger Woods told the assembled crowd that he struck ...

GAINESVILLE, FL—After being waived by the New York Jets and so far receiving no offers from other NFL teams, former Florida Gators quarterback Tim ...

HOUSTON—According to numerous sources, a star athlete of the city’s professional sports team was reportedly arrested in the late hours of yesterday evening ...

NEWPORT BEACH, CA—Following the Lakers shooting guard’s surgery to repair a torn Achilles tendon, Kobe Bryant’s family and friends told reporters Friday ...

DENVER—In a stunning revelation Friday that sent shockwaves through the NFL, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning announced during an emotional press conference that he is ...

OAKLAND—In an effort to provide guidance to a teammate, Lakers shooting guard Kobe Bryant reportedly created a helpful 435-item list Monday, detailing aspects of ...

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Ending months of speculation and rumors, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn announced on their personal Facebook pages Monday ...

SHEBOYGAN, WI—Lifelong Packers fan and 33-year-old Sheboygan bartender Peter Cooke told reporters Sunday that his nine-month-old Packers fan blog—which just received its 1 ...

BALTIMORE—Economists expressed shock this week as the value of the U.S. dollar plunged by more than 98 percent after Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe ...

BALTIMORE—After taking under a month to sort through the carnage from the Ravens’ Super Bowl victory parade, Baltimore police issued an encouraging report Friday ...

NEW ORLEANS—Tied up with their efforts to crack their most intriguing case yet, sources confirmed Sunday that the Harbaugh Boys missed the first half ...

RAVENS Strength: Never shatters Joe Flacco’s confidence by telling him what he actually thinks; Great guy to have in the locker room if you ...

RAVENS Strength: Teammates; Complete lack of control of arm strength and accuracy make conditions for lucky throws perfect; Does pretty hilarious impression of a quarterback ...

RAVENS Strength: One of last few remaining ball hawks in United States; Highly prepared player who constantly studies film to memorize an opposing team’s ...

RAVENS Strength: Antler-based; Natural birthmarks under eyes save a ton of money on face paint; Remains cool and collected in high-pressure environments like Super Bowls ...

RAVENS Strength: Marginally less of an asshole than his asshole brother; Incredibly mobile on the sideline; Received better genetic balance between his father’s competitiveness ...

49ERS Strength: Has no problem with slamming into another human being as hard as he possibly can; Plays four games a year against the Rams ...

49ERS Strength: Considered a very good football player, which is expected to help at the Super Bowl; Inside linebacker position makes him privy to all ...

49ERS Strength: Great height, solid width, spectacular volume, and better-than-average circumference; Always maintains composure after a big drop; Only needs to try for one more ...