Great pre-dawn, questionable everything else
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Video: Tech Trends

    New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 49•27 • Jul 2, 2013
    Tech Trends looks at the new Samsung Apex, a wearable computing device that streams videos into one eye, the internet into the other, and sucks ...

    HP Offers 'That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About'

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 48•29 • Jul 17, 2012
    HP announced they're making a new push into cloud computing and that they totally know what that is.

    New Prius Helps Environment By Killing Its Owner

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 48•27 • Jul 3, 2012
    Toyota's new Prius Solution reduces its driver's carbon footprint to zero by impaling them through the lungs with spikes as soon as they ...

    Internet Scam Alert: Most "Kickstarter" Projects Just Useless Crap

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 48•26 • Jun 26, 2012
    Internet criminals are using a website called "Kickstarter" to bilk friends and families out of money for terrible, ill-conceived, and unnecessary "personal projects."

    New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 46•27 • Jul 7, 2010
    Tech Trends' Jeff Tate explains the new service that pairs insufferable Apple customers with "friends" that will listen to them rattle on for hours.

    New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users' Ears

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 46•52 ISSUE 46•20 • May 17, 2010
    The new feature reduces Google phone users' cell phone costs while providing them with unobtrusive, personalized ads delivered in a friendly whisper.

    Insidious Worm Makes Unauthorized Purchases When Computer User Is Drunk

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 46•06 • Feb 8, 2010
    Computer experts say individuals with upcoming bachelor parties or afterwork get-togethers are especially vulnerable to cyber attacks resulting in fraudulent late-night purchases.

    Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 45•45 • Nov 10, 2009
    Designers say the new game explores the endless paperwork, routine patrolling a modern day soldier endures in photorealistic detail.

    Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 45•33 • Aug 11, 2009
    Web users who choose to move to the desolate village are guaranteed an environment free from Google products and natural light from the sun.

    Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 45•15 • Apr 6, 2009
    Experts say Close Range sets a new standard for first-person shooter games with its vivid graphics and endless stream of exploding faces.

    Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 45•07 • Feb 9, 2009
    Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.

    Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 45•02 • Jan 5, 2009
    The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.

    YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 44•46 • Nov 10, 2008
    YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit.

    'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

    Tech Trends • ISSUE 44•24 • Jun 10, 2008
    World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of ...
    • 1

    Recent News

    Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office16-Year-Old Excited To Have Whole Summer To Plan Shooting For Next School YearFossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam EarthAmerican Dental Association Recommends Making Your Gums Hurt Really Bad Once A DayNew Michael Bay Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 ExplosionsProgressive Charter School Doesn’t Have StudentsScientists Find Link Between How Pathetic You Are, How Fast You Respond To Emails

    Recent Videos

    New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

    Autopsy Of A Scene: Paul Feig Points Out How Many Ghosts Are In This Scene From 'The Heat'8-Year-Old Boy Surprises Marine Dad During Firefight In Afghanistan

    • Music: Newswire: Jay-Z's new record to be certified platinum the second it goes on sale

    • Music: Newswire: Pharrell Williams and will.i.am are suing each other over who owns the phrase "I am"

    • Coming Distractions: Trailer: Delivery Man

    • Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody

    • WTF Stamp

    • Cheat To Win Bracelet

    • New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

    • Overjoyed Florida Gay Couples Rush Out To Have Marriage Denied

    • Autopsy Of A Scene: Paul Feig Points Out How Many Ghosts Are In This Scene From 'The Heat'

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved