A good day for boating, if you're a deck
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Twitter Update

    Last Night's Live Coverage Of The 2013 NFL Draft 

    Twitter Update • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 26, 2013
    Foreign policy primer: Besides the US, there are 6 countries in the world. They are Israel, Iran, China, Libya, Syria and Afghanistan. — Onion Politics (@OnionPolitics ...

    Live Coverage Of Last Night's Final Presidential Debate From Onion Politics

    Twitter Update • ISSUE 48•43 • Oct 23, 2012
    Foreign policy primer: Besides the US, there are 6 countries in the world. They are Israel, Iran, China, Libya, Syria and Afghanistan. — Onion Politics (@OnionPolitics ...

    Live Coverage Of Last Night's Debate From Onion Politics

    Twitter Update • ISSUE 48•42 • Oct 17, 2012
    Nation Tunes In To See Which Sociopath More Likable This Time onion.com/SZ1ho0 — The Onion (@TheOnion) October 17, 2012

    'Diamond Joe' Biden Takes Over Onion Politics Twitter Feed During Vice Presidential Debate

    Twitter Update • ISSUE 48•41 • Oct 12, 2012
    Diamond Joe @ OnionPolitics Have some debate bullshit I got to do tonight. 11 Oct 12  Reply  Retweet  Favorite Diamond Joe @ ...
    • 1

    Recent News

    Area Man Beginning To Think He Has Memorial Day OffReport: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds3-Day Weekend Practically Already OverBiden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp ClaimGay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second ThingRestaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular MenuMan Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics

    Recent Videos

    Desperate Earth Begins Accelerating Rotation In Effort To Hurl Humankind Off Surface

    Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice CommandsObama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

    • Adventure Time, "The Party's Over, Isla De Senorita"

    • Longmire, "Unquiet Mind"

    • Regular Show, "Trailer Trashed"

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

    • Best of Onion Sports: OSN Tackles Underreported Sports

    • Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved