Apocalypse

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Content From 2011-08-17

Holder Visa

"The actions of the Visa crime ring amount to nothing less than mass extortion," Attorney General Holder

Pawlenty Drops Out

Following a poor showing in the Iowa straw poll, former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty announced Sunday he was no longer seeking to become the Republican nominee for president.

Bert And Ernie Not Gay

Reacting to an online petition calling for Muppets Bert and Ernie to marry, Sesame Street released a statement on its Facebook page explaining that the duo are just friends and do not have a sexual orientation.

Visa Exposed As Massive Credit Card Scam

SAN FRANCISCO—In coordinated raids Monday at locations in Delaware, South Dakota, and California, federal agents apprehended dozens of executives at Visa Inc., a sham corporation accused of perpetrating the largest credit card scam in U.S.

Buffet oped

"If I see a shirt I like, I'll usually just buy it," - Warren Buffett

Prove It

Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT Think you got what it takes to watch an actual, honest-to-goodness television program? Tune in tonight at 8 p.m. to prove it (and try sitting through all the commercials, too).

Seeing Eye Dog Really Blows Off Some Steam In Dog Park

FORT COLLINS, CO—From the moment he was let loose in a local dog park Saturday, golden retriever and licensed Seeing Eye dog Biscuit reportedly blew off some steam by jumping up to lick people's faces, urinating on smaller dogs, and chasing almost e...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Holiday

Apocalypse

"According to our data, the total collapse of all human civilization occurred on or around April 3, 2008."
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