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Content From 2012-04-18

Retail Sales Rise

Retail sales in the United States rose 0.8 percent in March, thanks in part to warmer weather and an improved economy.

Bring Your Laptop To The Corn Palace!

Mitchell, SD’s premiere tourist spot is now Wi-Fi enabled! So stop in to check your e-mail, get directions to Mount Rushmore, or see where the best fireworks stand on the way to Wall Drug is.

Your Horoscopes – Week of April 17, 2012

Aries Your feeling of impending doom shall come to nothing again this week as the world continues to turn and your life goes on as normal. Perhaps you should consider feeling useless and stupid instead. Taurus Our survey...

Human Civilization Brings Out Worst In Area Man

COLUMBUS, OH—Sources close to local resident Justin Krypel admitted to reporters this week that while the 34-year-old account executive was "basically a good guy at heart," human civilization has a tendency to bring out the worst in him....

Celebrity Dreams

E! 8:00 p.m. EST/7:00 p.m. CST Debra Messing tries to recall something that happened in a grocery store; Jon Hamm shoots a wizard.

April 20

Army recruiter Sgt. William Thompson will address students at Madison High School next Friday. To save time at the Q&A session: Sgt.

Every Team, Fan Base, Front Office Panicking

With the regular season either finally underway or almost over, the playoffs beginning, and preparations for the draft about to wrap up, every individual associated with a professional North American sports team in any way entered a deep state of panic th...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Break Room Masters

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6:00 p.m. EST/5:00 p.m. CST

For their final projects, Darren refills the coffee without being asked and Sarah passive-aggressively cleans everyone's dishes.

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