Castle

In This Section

Content From 2011-04-08

The Onion Review: Obama Casts National Musical

Americans audition for a government production of Guys and Dolls, a jukebox flat-out rejects an Oasis CD, and a juror in Barry Bonds trial is ready for any foul balls. It's the week of April 4th, 2011.

U.S. To Just Hand Terry Jones Over To Fundamentalist Muslims

'Have At Him,' Officials Say

GAINESVILLE, FL—In response to the uproar surrounding Terry Jones, the Florida pastor whose Koran-burning last month sparked riots in Afghanistan that have so far claimed at least 24 lives, the State Department announced today its plan to "just...

Juror Brings Baseball Glove To Barry Bonds Perjury Trial

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying that "you never know," juror Jesse Ferguson has worn his baseball glove to the Barry Bonds perjury trial every day, telling reporters Tuesday that his seat on the jury is in a perfect spot should Bonds really connect o...

Teen Rebel Refusing To Purchase Yearbook

WESTERVILLE, OH—Refusing to march in lockstep with the other drones at Westerville Junior High, 16-year-old rebel Chris Iconia announced Monday he would not be purchasing a copy of the school's 2011 yearbook.

Governor Of 'Broke' State Hires Donor's Dropout Son

Despite Gov. Scott Walker’s repeated claims that the State of Wisconsin is broke, his administration recently gave the college-dropout son of lobbyist and campaign donor Jerry Deschane an $81,500-a-year job overseeing environmental and regulatory ma...

White House To Hold Second Auditions This Week For Nationwide Production Of 'Guys And Dolls'

'We're Still Looking For A Really Good Nathan Detroit,' Obama Says

WASHINGTON—Saying they are very close to casting all the principal parts for the nationwide stage production of Guys And Dolls, White House officials announced Monday that a second round of auditions will be held this Thursday, and that the show's director, President Barack Obama, is still looking for the perfect person to fill the lead role of Nathan Detroit.

Too Many Geese

WGN 10 p.m. EST / 9 p.m. CST Okay, like eight geese running around was one thing, but now there's gotta be at least 20. That's too many!

Biden Calls Dibs On Qaddafi's Clothes

WASHINGTON—Interrupting a meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Tuesday, Vice President Joe Biden called dibs on the clothes of Muammar Qaddafi, saying he wanted first pick of the Libyan dictator's wardrobe as soon as he was deposed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Personal Finance

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Castle

ABC

10 p.m. EST / 9 p.m. CST

Tonight, mystery-writer-cum-crime-solver Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) teams up with Murder, She Wrote star Angela Lansbury to solve the case of a television producer who died under suspicious circumstances during a premise-recycling accident.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More