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Content From 2008-06-15

Area Grandmother Tries Indian Food

BLOOMINGTON, MN—Witnesses report Eileen Rutherford, 78, was overwhelmed by the unusual aromas but appeared delighted when a recognizable pea rolled out of her samosa.

Ron Paul Dropping Out

Months after John McCain became the presumptive Republican nominee for president, Ron Paul is dropping out of the race. What do you think?

Cricket Located

IRWIN, PA—In a feat of extraordinary patience, auditory precision, and monklike concentration, 42-year-old Pat Baer interrupted his favorite TV...

CD Sales Down, LP Sales Up

While sales of CDs fell 17 percent between 2006 and 2007, sales of LPs rose 36 percent in the same period. What do you think?

Where'd That Bitch Go?

CBS 10:00 p.m. EDT/9:00 p.m. CDT After another woman goes missing, the team goes out to investigate.

Michael Strahan

As Giants great Michael Strahan retires, we look back on what did or didn't make him so great.

Mariners Fire Whiffing Coach

SEATTLE—Claiming that Mariners whiffers have not been swinging wildly or embarrassingly enough, GM Bill Bavasi fired team whiffing coach Jeff...

Chris Osgood Gets To Third Base With Stanley Cup

LOS ANGELES—Sources within the Red Wings organization confirm that goalie Chris Osgood, who is currently engaged in accompanying the Stanley Cup on a victory tour of talk shows and publicity events, has repeatedly and insistently claimed to...

Remembering Jim McKay

Professional, dignified, and humble, yet always deeply involved with the culture of sports, he set a standard to which few still aspire. Onion...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Countervention

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Highly trained addicts swoop in and rescue Intervention prisoners.

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