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Content From 2011-08-10

Are Sack Lunches Unsafe?

A study published in the journal Pediatrics showed that most meats and vegetables parents packed in their children’s lunches were not kept in a safe temperature range once at school.

Civil War Hospital

NBC 10 p.m. EDT/9 p.m. CDT Dr. Thompson has to amputate an arm. Meanwhile, Dr. Smith has to amputate a leg.

Laffy Taffy Sponsors Every Cobblestone At 9/11 Memorial

NEW YORK—The makers of Laffy Taffy, a chewy fruit-flavored candy known for the lighthearted jokes printed on each wrapper, announced Tuesday they would pay tribute to the victims of 9/11 by sponsoring every single cobblestone at the World Trade Cent...

Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 09, 2011

Aries The Virgin Mary will appear in a dream and tell you to go forth in the world to help the poor and needy, causing you to wake up screaming in a cold sweat. Taurus Your crude and primitive sense of humor will offend ...

SSI: Boca Raton

Lifetime 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT After failing to make 85-year-old Doris Miller understand how direct deposit works, Social Security clerks just throw up their hands and tell her the money is carried to her bank account by angels.

Groups Oppose Perry's Prayer Meeting

Several groups, including the Texas ACLU, have voiced their opposition to Texas governor Rick Perry's participation in a day of Christian prayer and fasting this past weekend, saying it violates the separation of church and state.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Race Relations

McConnell

"There is no greater joy in my life than making Obama hate his," - Sen. Mitch McConnell
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