Resounding Humanity

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Content From 2012-03-14

Alien World To Help Out Syria Since This One Refuses To

IMPERIAL CITY, PLANET ZARKLOM 12—Frustrated by “the astonishing incapacity of earthlings to halt the rampant slaughter of their own kind” in Syria, the emperor of Zarklom 12 announced Wednesday he had no choice but to dispatch his own in...

Obama Waiting For Perfect Moment To Walk By White House Tour Group

'They're Totally Going To Freak Out,' Excited President Says

WASHINGTON—According to White House sources, President Obama took a break from his national security briefing today in order to wait for just the right moment to stroll casually past an unsuspecting group of visitors taking the daily 9:30 a.m.

Your Horoscopes - Week Of March 13, 2012

Aries Not only will romance, adventure, and thrills refuse to come to you, they will also refuse to come to theaters near you. Taurus Everyone must eventually choose between what they really must do and what they merely ...

LSD Could Be Viable Alcoholism Treatment

A comprehensive analysis of LSD studies conducted in the 1960s and ’70s found that alcoholics were less likely to relapse if they took LSD under the controlled supervision of a psychiatrist.

Black Sheep Of Earnhardt Family Dies In Public Transit Crash

SAN FRANCISCO—Dr. Terrance Earnhardt, youngest son of the late NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt, died Friday when the light-rail Muni Metro train he was riding home from his oncology practice derailed, delivering one final embarrassment to the racing fa...

Ground Beef Contains Pink Slime

According to a U.S. Department of Agriculture whistleblower, 70 percent of all ground beef sold in stores contains "pink slime," beef trimmings that have had the fat removed and been treated with ammonia to kill bacteria.

How Sturdy Is That?

HGTV 5:00 p.m. EST/4:00 p.m. CST Host Bryan Lowd leans against a shed in Tulsa, jumps on a floorboard in Denver, and sits on five rocking chairs in front of a live studio audience.
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Resounding Humanity

"To have my belly repeatedly whacked is no less than the resounding declaration of my very humanity." - Joshua Bishop

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