adBlockCheck

So You Think You Can Dance And Maintain A Well-Balanced Stock Portfolio

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Man Doesn't Even Do Good Job At Sleeping

Along with his consistently poor performance at work and his general lack of common, everyday life skills, local man Corey White told reporters Thursday that he can't even do a good job at sleeping.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

So You Think You Can Dance And Maintain A Well-Balanced Stock Portfolio

FOX

8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

Amateur investors attempt to cultivate an above-average earnings growth—and then they salsa!

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close